Ahh. Easter is over.

It’s not that I dislike Easter, per se. It’s just that it’s a weird holiday and I guess I like it well enough while it’s around, but when it’s over I’m glad.

For one thing, it’s the one time of year when I will go to church with my family with minimal bitching. And today I went to not one, but TWO services. The sunrise service, outside in the chilly air, the church breakfast, and then the 9:15 service. So we were at church today for like 4 hours. That’s a lot, especially for me. If you haven’t guessed by now, I have little tolerance for the church.

I was disappointed in the sunrise service. I’d never been to one before. There was no sun, for starters, so that put a bit of a damper on things. But I would have been perfectly content, even in the cold, to have a minute or two of pure silence while we just listened to the sounds of early morning in the Blue Ridge Mountains. I could happily have absorbed the loveliness of the natural world and been glad I woke up early for it. But it was more of a traditional church service, with speakers and an electric keyboard dragged outside, and a guest preacher who told an off-color joke and then talked about how he won’t support the United Way because they support abortion, and it was just…wrong. There was too much sound, too much talking and preaching and not enough joy in experiencing the world. What’s the point of having the service outside if we don’t acknowledge the beauty we live in? I tried – I did my best to tune out the noise, to focus my heart and my thoughts on the outside world, but it didn’t work so well.

And then during the inside service, which is no longer even held in the sanctuary but is now held in the rec area, I killed a spider during a song about Jesus’ death. That’s right. I committed murder in a place of worship. I’m really cementing my place in the spiderkilling world.

I really, honestly think that the story of Jesus being crucified is one of the most poignant in the Bible. And I think that The Last Temptation of Christ, a film by Martin Scorsese, my favorite director, depicts the pain and horror of that day remarkably well. I know it’s a controversial film, but news flash – my views are controversial, so it all works out. But, I don’t know. The way people choose to remember and celebrate this time in church doesn’t mesh with the way I prefer to think of things. That’s why I generally don’t go to church.

Go ahead, call me a heathen.

Also, I played MASH with Sammi and Jamie to kill time between services. You’ll all be pleased to know that I will live in a mansion in Chicago with a certain local hockey player and drive a BMW and have 2 perfect children…if only I change careers and become a sumo wrestler. I guess we all have to make sacrifices.

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