My Sorrows, They Learned to Swim

I’m sad right now, because I’ve had a long and difficult week at work, and I’m tired, and I’m sitting on my couch watching the news and waiting for Sasha to come out from under the couch. When she does, I’m going to put her in her carrier and take her back home to live with my family.

She’s unhappy. Last week she seemed like she was doing fine, but ever since the ductwork adventure, she’s stayed under the couch all day long, and then at about ten at night, she’ll come out and walk around meowing and looking in all the rooms for, literally, hours at a time. I think she smelled home on me when I got back on Sunday and she’s looking for her littermates. She doesn’t really want to play with her mice and she isn’t eating much and she doesn’t want to come sit next to me on the couch like she did last week. She hasn’t been misbehaving at all, because she’s a good cat like that. But she’s not happy, and so she needs to go back to her family, and that makes me really sad because I love her and I don’t want her to go.

And I know some of you reading are like “whatever, it’s just a cat,” and I guess that’s okay. But she’s my cat, and I love her and I want her to be happy and content. She needs to be at home where she can wrestle with her sisters all day and look out the windows to the woods and sneak out of the house every now and then without getting run over by a car, where she can find safe places to hide that aren’t heating ducts, and where she can beg for table scraps and curl up on my dad’s chest at night when he’s watching TV.

It’s not fair to make her stay in this big, beige, scary place all day by herself.

Sometimes, doing the right thing seems so much sadder and more difficult than the alternative. But it still has to be done.

12 Replies to “My Sorrows, They Learned to Swim”

  1. Is it bad to feel happy that the cat’s going back home? I mean, I’d already expressed my worry about splitting her up from her littermates and I really did hope that it would work out but, given that it’s not so much, I’m happy to read that you’re loving your cat more than your need for the cat.

    You’re a good one, Ms. Stories.

    now, no more quoting U2-quoting buttons from Spencer’s.

  2. that last line is so incredibly true.

    i know this might not help, but maybe a new cat is the way to go anyway–new place, new face. i’m doing a lot of that lately and it is really, really, awesome.

  3. It’s always difficult to part with a companion. This journal is the appropriate place to register your thoughts and feelings. I hope you will be able to capture this for reminiscing in the near and distant future.

  4. I understand completely where you are at. Just this week my cat of 12 years slipped out the door (we think) and after a week of looking, calling the pound, the Humane Society, etc etc etc, flyers ALL over our area, talking with the neighbors, we just can’t find him. His companion of 12 years (we got them at the same time, same farm) has been completely lost, sad. She sits in his spot all the time, hoping he will come home. I can’t tell you how much I have bawled my eyes out…to the point of about barfing. My dearest most darling husband has spent every night this week searching into the wee hours of morning. We spent our wedding anniversary Thursday looking for Sam. Every time I look under the dining room table (his spot) my heart is filled with saddness to not see him there. I guess in the end, if Sam did die, of course I’m sad, but I’m more sad for Andi (his companion). She misses him so very much, it breaks my heart. Bless your heart for making a very hard decision, yet so unselfish on your part. If you chose to give a new cat a chance for a life, might I suggest you get two cats. Most cats, if you get them as kittens or if you get cats from the same home, will have a lifetime of love and friendship together, as you well know. I know that watching my two cats as an old married couple (that’s what I call them, Sam is a boy, Andi’s a girl, and they constantly slept together and were always grooming each other) has given me so much joy the past 12 years. It is hard, but take comfort knowing you are doing such an unselfish thing. And, you can always go visit anytime you want. :)

  5. You’re doing the right thing for Sasha, and I know how difficult that can be. Like Cat Lover said though, at least you can visit her.

  6. There you go, Lorie: to ease the pain of transition, just move your mom in with you – it’ll be like having the cat back!

  7. Just thinking about it breaks my heart. I can only imagine how you’re feeling. But really, it’s so wonderful that you’re able to look beyond your sadness and do what’s probably best for her.

    Perhaps a new little kitten is in order.

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