Smells Like Babies

Okay, first off, my Supergold membership expires sometime today and Paypal is being a complete pain in the ass, so if you can’t comment or see my images, that’s why. I’ve tried to renew about two thousand times and I’m getting pretty annoyed with the whole thing at this point.

So I have a certain friend who is about to become a mother. (Actually, there are two, but this one’s local.) And a little while ago I asked her what she still needed, and she and her mom said they could use some Dreft.

For those of you who don’t know, Dreft is the special laundry detergent for baby clothes and stuff. It smells like babies.

When I was out at Target over the weekend, I picked up a big-ass jug of the stuff. You know, the jug that cleans 64 loads of laundry, and is on the bottom shelf, and that you have to kind of heave into the cart. So I got that, and I took it home, and I put it on the kitchen island so I wouldn’t forget about it.

Last night when I got home from rehearsal, my sisters told me that my cat had gotten out and they hadn’t been able to get her back in the house yet. Sasha’s ambush and escape artistry skills are probably an entry for another day, but suffice it to say that I get really worried when she gets out, especially after our outdoor cats were poisoned last November.

When I made it into the kitchen, my dad said, “I did something really dumb – you’re gonna kill me,” and I immediately responded, “So are you the one who let Sasha out, or did you delete something from the TiVo that I haven’t watched yet?” because that’s something else that happens a lot at my house. And he said, “Well, I did let her out – she ambushed me – but that wasn’t what I was talking about. I accidentally used your laundry soap.”

And at first I’m like okay, so? because it’s not like I’m hoarding the soap I buy for my own use, and then I’m like wait, I didn’t buy laundry soap this weekend, and THEN I’m like, “Wait – you used the Dreft?”

He said that he had, and he was sorry, and he didn’t know.

And it got even better, because not only did he use it in one load, but he actually poured the entire 200 ounce jug of Dreft into our big huge laundry jug that sits on the shelf with the little dispenser nozzle on the front, so now it’s all mixed with Gain.

I’m like, “DAD, Dreft is for BABIES. Didn’t you notice that it’s in a big pink and white jug with a bunny on the front? And that it smells like babies?”

He had not noticed.

He said he’d buy me some more. I’m totally not mad at all. For some reason I think the whole thing is hysterically funny, and yesterday when I grabbed a load of clothes out of the dryer I was like “Mmmm, smells like babies,” and it turned out that the load in question hadn’t been washed in Dreft at all, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to say “Smells like babies” every time I fold a load of laundry for the next month or so.

9 Replies to “Smells Like Babies”

  1. Totally sounds like something my dad would do, ha. I'm surprised he hasn't yet, actually. I need to go home and hide our bottle of Dreft before he comes back into town on Thursday night. Also, my mom thinks I'm retarded because when I was washing baby things with said Dreft this weekend, she actually told me to make sure I did not use fabric softener. Yeah. I'm like, “Mom. The reason you use Dreft for baby clothes is so it won't bother them. Why would I use FABRIC SOFTENER? It would just negate the purpose of the Dreft in the first place!” My mom thinks I'm an idiot.

  2. Too funny!

    But I have a question re: fab softener … is it OK to use dryer sheets or does Dreft make dryer sheets?

    I'm obviously still educating myself here.

  3. according to the faq at (not like i'm procrastinating or anything), they are not currently making dryer sheets. i think it's the same principle. oh, they also are sure to remind you not to use fabric softener ever on sleepwear so that your children don't catch fire.

  4. For some reason, it does not surprise me at all that Dreft does not have a marketing campaign that proclaims: “Smells like babies!” This is probably due to the fact that the phrase evokes a pile of naked babies, and that is slightly disturbing. You should tell your boss that you just had a baby and that you have to quit.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.