toxins and farts and costumes

I am Hairy Sweater Girl today.

I am also like 87 years old, as I am wearing a zip-up hooded long-sleeved sweater over a short-sleeved sweater. And the zip-up sweater is a total hair magnet. Luckily it’ll probably come off later, because it’s supposed to be warm today. But right now it isn’t.

So I’ve been really, really tense lately. When you touch my upper back it feels like a rock, and although I have more muscle in my upper back than most girls my age (from 10 years of flags), this is a combination of muscle and extreme tension.

Last night I was commenting on it and Ginny felt it and was like “whoa, I need to give you a back massage.” ‘Cause see, Ginny’s really really good at that. She can do the whole deep-tissue thing or whatever. She has strong hands.

So while she was rubbing out the knots in my shoulders last night she started to tell me that I needed to drink a lot of water when she was done because if I didn’t, then these toxins or something would get out and swim around and make me achy and bruisey, but if I drank water the toxins would go away. I don’t know if this is true or not but I drank a half a bottle of water, which was probably not enough, because I am in fact achy and bruisey this morning. But not quite so tense.

The toxins are eating my muscles.

Sammi got in my bed and farted on me this morning. Twice. If that’s not sisterly love I don’t know what is.

Oh!! I have an Actual Good Entry coming up later today, but before that –

Ginny and I want to enter this costume contest downtown tomorrow, and we need to come up with some kickass costumes that cost less than $15 to make. Help us!

8 Replies to “toxins and farts and costumes”

  1. I thought this was a great entry – what with girl on girl rubbing, descriptions of taut anatomy, shared bed space, flatulence – a real winner.

    Buy yourself a nice 15 dollar… scarf or hat or something and wear that for halloween. I mean, when someone says to me, “I only have fifteen dollars to spend on myself” I think – treat yourself. :-)

  2. I'm saying 15 one dollar bills placed in strategic positions on your body would get you the contest win. ;)

  3. Man, fuck that contest. I'm boycotting K92 because they lied – I did NOT find love last weekend, the bastards. Uh… I have nothing helpful to say. Also, I think that Katrina mentioned something about going to AA's tomorrow night to join in on the fesitivities, and I AM NOT GONNA GO! Boycotting, see? Yeah. K92 sucks donkey balls.

  4. dude, I'd say fuck the contest too, but…portable DVD player? digital camera? I want to win.

  5. a few weeks ago while i was in austin my girlfriend and i stumbled across this theater clubs garage sale. man it was halloween costume heaven, all these time pieces for like $5,$6,$7 bucks and in great condition. there was alot of really great of-the-wall stuff too, like this mini dress made from a twister game. anyways my suggestion is sweet talk someone in the theater program at the university to letting ya borrow something out of the drama room closet then take that 15bucks and load up on cheap vodka and skittles.

  6. I saw a great costume the other day. 2 boys in black pants, white short sleeved shirts, and black ties, bike helmets and covered in blood like they'd been hit by a car…They said 'God bless you sisters' as they passed.
    You might pose as mormon door-to-door bike boys…but then…I've always been especially fond of those guys. [Sigh]

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