Someone stole my Swiffer Duster.
And I’m really annoyed about it, because I bought a whole new box of Swiffer Dusters specifically to use in my office, and then it took me like four weeks to remember to even bring them to the office, and I definitely don’t know where the box of replacement duster-things is but I know that the Swiffer Duster I keep ready for dusting and spider-killing is. NOT. HERE.
If I see a spider, how am I going to kill it?
If I see dust, how am I going to pick it up?
I get a lot of spiders and dust in my office. My Swiffer Duster is a weapon and a tool that keeps me safe and comfortable during the workday.
One of the housekeepers saw my Swiffer Duster the other day and commented on how awesome they are, so I think maybe she accidentally thought it was her Swiffer Duster and walked off with it sometime this week.
In my old office, I swear the housekeepers (who came in after hours) used to steal my pens at night, but only the good pens. Only the Pentel R.S.V.P. medium point pens and the Pilot Precise V7s. They completely ignored the nasty scratchy Uni-Ball fine point pens that I hate, and the crappy Bic Crystal Stic pens, and the hideous 1965 felt-tip pens. I got into the habit of hiding the good pens in my drawers under papers and napkins and stuff, and leaving the crappy pens out on the desk in the big latte mug as decoys. Strangely, they continued to not disappear.
I was also convinced that the housekeepers moved my office furniture a fraction of an inch every night, so that I would go crashing into some part of it every day. Bastards.
But anyway, Lobsterchick’s recent entry about the Swiffer Wet Jet reminded me that my Swiffer Duster is missing and I had apparently trauma blocked the whole incident. I want it back. Now.