Conflict of Interest

Okay, I have a very important office-related question to ask of you, my bright and wise readers.

What do you do if you have an office obligation and a bathroom obligation in contention with one another? Exactly how should this be handled?

This morning, I had a 9AM meeting across campus. As I was grabbing my files and putting on my coat, I was suddenly made aware of the bathroom obligation.

The bathroom obligation was not to be a quick thing, a brief flirtation. Oh, no. The bathroom obligation would demand a little more time.

But the meeting was at 9. And it was 8:57. And there was no way I could make it to the meeting on time if I tended to the bathroom obligation.

So I buttoned my coat and headed out for my office obligation, but throughout the office obligation, the bathroom obligation reminded me of its presence. And once the office obligation was satisfied, I raced back to my office to tend to the bathroom obligation.

Question: is it ever okay to call your bosses and postpone a meeting due to a bathroom obligation? Am I the only person who’s ever had this happen? And what if you do call and say, “Hey, I’m going to be just a few minutes late,” and then the bathroom obligation requires twenty strenuous minutes of your attention? How do you explain THAT?

Here’s a picture I took of my Nanie’s autumn flowers so that you can look at it for a while if talk of bathroom obligations disturbs you:

12 Replies to “Conflict of Interest”

  1. You don't really have to go into detail about why you are going to be late. You can just say that something came up and you will be a bit late, and apologize profusely. (Coming from someone with zillions of stomach issues.)

  2. Hey Boss! I'ma gonna be a bit late – something's come down the pike I've got to flush out a-right away!

    Bathroom breaks are a health issue. They can't get on you for health issues. Once your parents stop using the “you should have gone when I stopped the car and asked you to” line it's officially striken from the book of phrases anyone's ever allowed to bring up with you.

  3. You should always just take the time you need to go. Tell the boss that something delayed you and that you got there as soon as you could. If he/she asks for an explanation, explain to them in private that you were feeling “ill” and thought that interrupting the meeting for an indeterminite amount of time would be worse than just showing up a few momments late.

  4. I would try to hold the bathroom matter in at all costs. Not to be gross, but I've had a similiar situation at work. I took care of my work business, then took care of other business. I guess it depends on how bad this unstoppable force is!

  5. Pinch it? Ew and hahahahahahahaha! Either way, if I have a “bathroom matter,” said matter rarely, if ever, waits. I can barely keep my “gas matters” to myself in time to get to the bathroom 100 ft. from my desk.

  6. I say call the boss and tell them you need to postpone the meeting becuase you aren't feeling well… and go take a dump. :)

  7. I've changed my mind.

    …take a raised toilet seat,<a href=”

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