Ginny was finally admitted to the rehab facility today. She’ll be there for about a week, and this is when the real work begins. Just wanted to give you guys an update.
To the makers of Alavert:
Hey, thanks for the sample and all. That was pretty cool, sending me an entire box of Alavert so I could try it for a week instead of just one dinky little dose like other companies send.
So I guess you’re trying to lure customers away from Claritin by promising that your product is not only better, but also more convenient, since it’s dissolvable. That’s cool. Here are my thoughts:
- I noticed that your product is 10mg of loratadine. Hmm. That’s exactly the same as Claritin.
- Oh, but yours dissolves, right? So no need to get a pesky glass of water and swallow a pill? Cool. Claritin doesn’t – oh wait, yes it does have a dissolvable form. No matter. I hear yours is better. At least that’s what you’ve told me.
- I see that your “superior” dissolvable pill is, like, hermetically sealed in titanium or something. I guess that’s to protect it from the elements. That’s cool.
- However. I’ve got to say, I didn’t find it to be more convenient than the standard Claritin pill at all.
Because, see, when the packaging is so airtight that while trying to separate one pill from the card, the whole thing slips and proceeds to SLICE MY THUMB OPEN, it takes a hell of a lot of time to curse and wrap a tissue around my thumb and run to the bathroom and wince and wash it up and dry it off and find the Neosporin and try to dab just a little on and curse and wipe half of it off and find a band-aid and tear it open and peel off the sticky things and wrap it around my thumb, all the while with a minty little pill-thing sitting on my tongue absolutely REFUSING to dissolve until I give up and just chew the damn thing. In fact, it takes a lot more time to do that than it would have for me to just pop a frickin’ pill out of the package, throw it in my mouth, and take a drink of water.
And also, your product costs more.
I’m just sayin’.