No, I’ve Never Been to Santa Barbara

So, hey.

I’m back at work today for the first time since May 20, when I left in a bit of a rush. It’s weird.

I’ve been here since 9 and I just now finished going through my emails, voice mails, regular mail, and faxes. Holy crap.

Ginny still has not been admitted to the rehab facility. We are fighting with insurance companies all day long and hoping that they will authorize it soon.

So. I have a confession.

Everyone likes a few bad movies, right? Of course you do. And while I like many bad movies, there’s one I watched over the weekend that I absolutely love, and I don’t care how much you guys are going to make fun of me about it.

The movie, my friends, is Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead. Yeah. That one. With such silver screen greats as Christina Applegate, Keith Coogan (of Adventures in Babysitting fame), John Getz (a.k.a. Sleazy Guy), Josh Charles, and David Duchovny. Also that little blond lady with the squeaky voice who was on Twin Peaks.

Man. My sisters and I freakin’ love this movie. It’s so wrong that it comes back around to right. The hair, the clothes, the classic lines like “I’m right on top of that, Rose!” and “Liza Minnelli stole our Buick! It wasn’t even our Buick!” – the fashion show, the happy fat vats, the cleaning montage, and best of all: CLOWN DOG. It’s so bad it’s good. Believe me.

Incidentally, we refer to Josh Charles never by his actual name, but only as Clown Dog. And when we see him in stuff, we sing the Clown Dog truck jingle. And when we THOUGHT we saw Josh Charles playing Mike Eruzione in Miracle, we constantly referred to him as Clown Dog. “Shoot it, Clown Dog! What team do you play for, Clown Dog?” and so on. Too bad I found out the other day that the kid playing Rizzo is not, in fact, Josh Charles, but rather is his little doppelganger by the name of Patrick O’Brien Dempsey. A good Irish kid, if names are any indication.

Anyway. Comedy gold, I’m telling you, and we’ve seen this movie about a million times and still haven’t tired of it. I almost want to go home and watch it again.

Yep. I’m that lame.

17 Replies to “No, I’ve Never Been to Santa Barbara”

  1. My new favorite bad movie is 'You Got Served', it's comedy gold especially when Wade, the white kid, from Orange County comes up to challenge the freshest crew around. Wade's best line “You bitches got served!” Priceless.

  2. Oh, man. I adore that movie. It's so bad. I have to watch it every time it comes on. I love David Duchovny as Greasy McSleaze from the office. And the outfits she designs for her friends at the end! So fab. Anyway, things are (mildly) better today. My mother is no longer talking to me, so who knows what's up with that. Gah, life. What are you gonna do?

  3. Santa Barbara is a pretty neat place, stop by there when you're on that coast.

    A favorite movie of mine that is intentionally tongue in cheek is the “Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai” with Peter Weller, John Lithgow, Jeff Goldblum, Ellen Barkin, etc. The lead character is a brain surgeon, blues/rock star, serious martial artist, and has his own hip group called the Hong Kong Cavaliers. The same character (Peter Weller) is modest, insightful, daring, innovative, and his counsel is sought by the President when aliens threaten to destroy the Earth unless criminal aliens hiding out are turned over to them.

    And that's just an intro…

  4. My sister and I also love this movie. Nothing wrong with it. I think it's my secret movie love. Can I also say that I saw Glitter and didn't think it was the worst movie ever? Nope. Speed has it beat.
    Have you seen Amelie? Great movie. For real. Not in the great as in secret confession secret. Great as in great. If you like that, try He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not with the girl from Amelie. (It's on netflix.)

  5. funny, kind of, that, though you always begin with a desclaimer, “yeah yeah, so I like some bad tv” or here, “so everyone likes a few bad movies, right?” the overwhelming proof is not that you are one of the those that likes “a few bad movies” – or teevee but you are in fact one of the few who likes All the bad stuff that's made available to watch.
    I think it's time you embraced this and investigated – and celebrated – the depth and bredth of your self-proclaimed (by means of your blog anyway) bad taste.
    I am joking, of course, and don't wanna be misunderstood. (the joke is, the disclaimers seem to act as defense against assumption and yet, gathered all together they seem to have the opposite effect. However, it's obvious that all of these are exceptions to your greater and over-riding good-taste and therefore stick out to you in a way that prompts mentioning. The appearance however, you understand, is vice versa – they are not the exception but the rule.)
    Crap. Anyway, let's pretend I didn't feel the need to avoid a misunderstand at such length and go with the funnier part of this post that insists you devote more time to bad taste with the proclamation that everyone across the nation should do the same.
    Hey! Hugo's from Santa Barbara./attempts to deflect attention from himself and verbose defenses.

  6. “Every woman should have a cucumber,” and “Dishes are done, myaaan.” Totally awesome movie. I'll never forget the summer HBO showed it practically back to back for three straight months. My cousin and I were in HEAVEN.

  7. My guilty pleasure: “The Dream Team.” It's a slapstick spinoff of “One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest,” and it cracks me the fuck up. You already know about my love of “Clueless.”

  8. dude, Clueless is hardly a guilty pleasure. I love that movie unabashedly.

    also, A – I totally got you. I finally got around to watching the episodes of Colonial House that we TiVoed while I was out too…maybe that gives me intellectual cred? :)

    Truthfully, quality TV/movies aren't nearly as fun to write about. And I do in fact like a LOT of really, really bad stuff.

  9. heh – yeah, I know you do. You can talk old grainy italian films with mike and reference some pretty impressive book titles.
    Of course, funnier still is the idea that reality teevee would lend intellectual cred. I kid because I love – and because you're so much above the cracks I …er, crack.

    Now, wasn't Clueless based on that great book of long-ago? (and that other movie that got the public going ga-ga over gweneth?)

  10. but…but…Colonial House is EDUCATIONAL reality teevee! it's on PBS!

    …and yeah, I know. It's a total soap opera.

    I hated Emma, by the way.

  11. For the record.. I love Don't Tell Mom so much, that I saw it at Walmart one day and bought it on DVD. Something about that movie, everyone I know loves it. Definately a guilty pleasure right up there with Adventures in Babysitting, Can't Buy Me Love and gulp–Center Stage for me. lol

  12. my sister and I indulge in the cinematic greatness that is “Kindergarten Cop”. I mean, who can forget such lines as, “It's not a tum-ah!” We like “Big Business” too.

  13. I too like some of the, let us say, sleepers of the cinematic stage. “Center stage”, “Knight Tale” and “10 things I hate about you” are all great movies. Movies such as these give some drama and usually a lot of laughs as it ties into each of our lives or fantasies :)

  14. Nothing is better than sitting dow to find that TBS has edited a movie down to 90 minutes, including commercials and yet somehow you are compelled to watch it 3 times back to back, for the 657th time. That would be my affair with Roadhouse.

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