stabby mcgee

N. Colorado backup punter accused of stabbing starter in the leg

Okay, so it’s not funny. At all. Not even a little funny. Not even a little tiny bit.

Some thoughts I had while reading the article:

a) The University of Northern Colorado, known as UNC if you’re from around there, is in Greeley, about a half-hour from where we used to live. I took the SAT there in 1991 or so as part of the Rocky Mountain Talent Search which was some thingie for gifted kids. I also competed in at least one spelling bee there, that I remember. It seems like it was maybe kind of a ghetto campus. I’m not sure, though.

b) Two of my three sisters were born at NCMC (Northern Colorado Medical Center), where the stabbee (possibly not a word) was taken for treatment. Also notable: my aunt used to work there, and she was working there at the switchboard around the time when the Kobe Bryant rape accusations hit the media. I think there were rumors that the alleged victim had received treatment of some kind, maybe for mental illness, at that facility. In any case, my aunt had to field like a bajillion calls from reporters wanting dirt.

c) Evans, Colorado is Nowheresville, if I remember correctly.

d) What’s a college student doing driving a Dodge Charger, and seriously, how dumb is this kid anyway? Did he think the starting punter wouldn’t recognize him? Did he think that putting tape over the license plate on his totally not-at-all distinctive Dodge Charger would keep him from being recognized? Not to mention the fact that he removed the tape in front of a liquor store, apparently in full view of the liquor store clerk. Nope, that’s not suspicious at all.

e) I wonder how the third-string punter is feeling today.

11 Replies to “stabby mcgee”

  1. That’s hilarious. Thank you.

    Some thoughts I had while reading this post:

    a) In 1991 I snuck in to a PSAT testing room and copped a test somehow. I wasn’t supposed to be there and never found out how I did. I just wanted to know what to expect. Also, the Rocky Mountains are always linked to “Oysters” in my head. None of this has to do with UNC, Greenly, talent shows, or punters.

    b) Two of my sisters were born in Los Angeles, which is no where near where the stabbee (possibly not a word) was taken for treatment.
    Also notable: my aunt used to be a cop. She’s in the text books that teach the history of the LAPD for changes she made to policies re: women and minorities during her own attempts to get in and move up. In any case, my aunt probably had to put up with a bunch of crap. er, I mean, dirt. My aunt has never met Kobe Bryant or any woman he may or may not have raped. She was, however, married to a man who played basketball on the international circuit.

    c) Evans, Colorado is Nowheresville, if I’m willing to go along with something I’ve heard.

    d) What’s going on here? Oh, right: I didn’t read the article. I like the new Charger; but I’d never buy a new American car.

    e) I wonder how peanut butter and radishes taste together? WIth a balanced bite, does one overwhelm the other or could they complement each other?

  2. so basically ~A you just created your own post in the comments of lorie’s post that has little if anything to do with hers… awesome.

    btb… (by the by) …. isn’t UNC where the Broncos have training camp?

  3. okay, awesome.

    also, i think a ’72 dodge charger was the kind of car that was almost my first car.

  4. Thank you, Ginny. I was rather pleased with it myself. When there’s little common ground, I build a bridge; that’s just what I do.


  5. Quick! Check your site stats! Now you have a visitor from Japan. Lovely.

    As for punter stabbings, it just dredges up all the pain from the Tonya Harding – Nancy Kerrigan debacle. Dammit. I thought I was over it. This is why I drink: sports violence.

    By the way, I’m creeped out that foreign hotels give me high-floor rooms with windows that open. I have no plans on jumping, but I do have an irrational fear of sleepwalking out a window. I don’t sleepwalk, not that I know of, but I have the fear. I’m good at fear. It’s a skill.

  6. Update: According the article I read in SI about the college winning its subsequent game on a blocked punt–How ’bout that!–the third string punter was injured.

    The fourth string cat’s first punt went 7 yards.

  7. I’m over this story… we need a new one… here’s some jumping off points:

    1. DDR
    2. Corn Tots
    3. Beef Stew
    4. The French

    and go….

  8. What’s DDR? Dance Dance Revolution? There’s a song by Elliott Smith when, at one line I always have to sing, “Dance Dance Revolution” even though I’m sure he’s not saying anything like that. The rest of it is something like “let it come down, until, falls” …”on you” or “apart” or something like that. . .

  9. There were no stories… that’s why I included them, so you’d be forced to write about ddr and corn tots

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