Last month, Jamie and I won movie tickets from Blingo. I was at Family HQ this weekend and we decided we wanted to use them to see Little Miss Sunshine. We’d told Dad about the movie and he wanted to see it, too, so all we had left to do was convince Mom.
Mom hates going to the movies because she always falls asleep. She can sleep for free at home, she says. In case you think we’re joking about the sleeping thing, I want you to know that my mom fell asleep when we went to see Black Hawk Down at the movie theater. So, anyway, Mom didn’t want to go, and Dad wouldn’t go unless Mom went, so we set about convincing Mom.
We told her that the people in the movie were Hoovers, and like duh, we had to go see it based on that alone. We also told her that it was about the Hoovers traveling across the country so that Olive could compete in a spelling bee, which was my honest mistake. Somehow, “beauty pageant” got into my head and became “spelling bee.” I don’t know. It happens. In any case, she HAD to go SEE it, and I would buy their tickets, and shut up and get in the car and let’s go.
So we went. Mom was grouchy and grumbly while we were sitting waiting for the movie to start, and we made her grouchier and grumblier when she asked who was going to be in this stupid movie and we told her that Steve Carell, Conan O’Brien, and Will Ferrell were in it. Steve Carell, Conan O’Brien, and Will Ferrell are Mom’s three least favorite famous people in the entire world. She says they are pointy, pasty, disgusting, not-funny idiots.
By the time the pre-movie trivia stuff started on the screen, I’d remembered that the movie was actually about a beauty pageant and not a spelling bee and had informed everyone that I was an idiot, and we’d been teasing Mom mercilessly the entire time about her boyfriends Steve, Conan, and Will. Just then, a trivia question about Little Miss Sunshine came on the screen, complete with a quote from Steve Carell.
Mom’s eyes about bugged out of her head.
“STEVE CARELL IS REALLY IN THIS MOVIE?!” she kind-of screamed. Since I was wrong about the spelling bee part, and we’d been teasing her about her three favorite actors, she thought we were lying about Steve Carell. We assured her that we were not. “You made me come to a damn Steve Carell movie. They’re probably not even named Hoover,” she grumped. She was totally pissed, and determined not to enjoy even a minute of the movie.
Dad liked the movie, and Jamie and I loved it. Mom sat through the entire thing with a scowl on her face. I think she laughed one time. Mostly she was personally offended that Steve Carell had the rank audacity to be in the movie.
After we got home, she told us that at least she didn’t have to pay for the tickets, and that if she’d paid actual money to come to this movie, she’d have stomped out and demanded her money back when she found out Steve Carell was in it. We’re like, “Mom, seriously, you’d tell them that you wanted your money back because your daughters told you Steve Carell was in the movie and you didn’t believe them? Yeah, they’d definitely tell stories about you to each other later, crazy lady.”
Anyway, yeah. Little Miss Sunshine was excellent, unless you hate Steve Carell.