It seems to me like if they can make a pill for dogs to take that keeps them free of fleas, ticks, and heartworm, then there ought to be a pill for people to take that keep us from getting bitten by bugs. I’ve considered taking the dog pill, but that’s probably not a good idea. Besides, I don’t have a dog, so I’d have to fake a dog or go on the black market or something to get the dog pill, and then it might be cut with meth or something and then the next thing you know, I’m a meth addict. And really, all I wanted was relief from bug bites.
I’m hideously sensitive to most biting/stinging insects (including, as it turns out, fleas). When I know for sure I’m going to be outside, I always wear bug spray. I probably should wear it every day, but eh. I get lazy. So if I happen to find myself outside unexpectedly, I’ll get bug bites. And I currently have a weird issue where I am finding mosquitoes in my office and in my house – seriously, what’s up with that? The mosquitoes are as bad as the spiders lately. And don’t tell me that if I’d let the spiders live I wouldn’t have so many mosquitoes, because rather than admitting you’re probably right, I will just cut you instead.
So, anyway. Mosquitoes in my house. Mosquitoes in my office. And then, sometimes I go outside.
Last night I went over to a friend’s house after work, and we spent a few hours out on her deck with wine, snacks, and her puppy (Max) – and really, what else do you need in life besides friends, wine, snacks, and the world’s coolest puppy? Nothing, unless you’re into mosquito bites, in which case I have fifteen brand new ones that I will sell to you cheap. I will not sell you the puppy, though.
The bites are just little bitty pink dots now, but by the end of the day, they will be giant festering welts the size of quarters or larger. And I will look like a leper, and I will be itchy, and I will hate the world just a tiny bit more than I do right at this moment.