Step Off, Stage Mom

I cannot believe it isn’t even eleven o’clock in the morning yet. What a slow day this is turning out to be.

I think I’ve picked up a little head cold or something in my world travels. I tend to let myself get run-down when I’m working/traveling/doing a lot, so it’s really no surprise. I should take better care of myself. Anyway, I stayed home and slept yesterday and wish I could have again today.

Ginny’s surgery went well yesterday and she is back home recovering nicely. She’s pissed, though, that they were unable to find the screws they’d taken out of her knee. She’s like, “I paid for them – I want them!” and so they are looking for them.

I was horrified to discover that loriestories ranks eighth out of approximately 1,256,350 sites on MSN’s search function for “boobs.” I seriously get fifty to seventy-five percent of my hits every day through a search like that. STOP IT.

One of the reasons I’m not a teacher, aside from my astonishing lack of patience with young people, is my complete lack of tolerance for pushy parents. They really, really bug me.

Since I’ve been doing this side work at high schools lately, I’ve encountered a lot of parents, and the majority of them have been wonderful, supportive people. There are some others, though, who are very “my daughter my daughter MYDAUGHTER” all the time, and I can’t stand it.

Listen. I am not going to recommend your daughter for a solo, a leadership position, or anything the hell else just because a) she’s been in the longest; b) she’s the oldest; or most of all, c) because you’re the “team mom.” I don’t care. When it comes down to casting solos and choosing group leaders, I honestly don’t give a rat’s ass how many hours you’ve spent driving them places or taking trips to Home Depot for equipment or braiding hair on show days. Because it’s not about you. And you may think your daughter is the best, and good for you, because it is a good thing when parents believe in their children. But I’ve been doing this for a very long time, and I get paid actual cash money to make decisions that are best for the unit, and if that decision isn’t the one you and your dear girl were hoping to hear, well, too damn bad.

And you won’t be able to bully or intimidate me. Furthermore, while your assistance is certainly welcome and appreciated, it’s not essential to our functions. We’ll make out just fine if you stomp off in a huff.

You do not have input into my choreography, decisions I make in conjunction with the director, or really, anything else besides what store has the best bargain on electrical tape. So go buy some and stop getting all up in my rehearsals.


On some of that rant I’m getting ahead of myself, because I see a messy situation roaring down the tracks and I’m not particularly looking forward to it. On other parts, it’s already started and I may start closing rehearsals to visitors, because they’re distracting me.

I have a headache and I wish it would rain.

Also, I fear I’ve severely overextended myself. Time will tell.

6 Replies to “Step Off, Stage Mom”

  1. why settle for 8th place lorie? what about being number 1 in boob scouting, now wouldn't that be something to tell the kids one day. i feel your pain. really…no i don't. giving swim lessons and putting up with, not only high school theater kids, but their mothers also, whew that one i can't begin to fathom.

  2. i am amused that everytime you say “boobs” in your journal it probably creeps up a bit.

    good for you for not letting parents tell you what to do. i do, however, believe that if two people in any marching band have the same talent, the more experienced/older person should get the shot. it's part of how high school works, and honestly, i think that's a good thing. not doing that has fucked up NUMB in many ways.

  3. i'd tend to agree with you. in this case, however, while the “senior” member has a very high skill level, she also has demonstrated no willingness to help new girls learn, and tons of willingness to fuck around and talk after she's figured out the work while everyone else catches up. my choice, a younger girl, is not only excellent on the field, but is also positive, patient, and more than willing to help the strugglers. besides that, i haven't caught her goofing off even once. even when they're blocking drill and the rest of the band is talking, she's out there practicing the routine.

  4. Excellent stance on pushy parents; keep it up. I'm now soccer coach for my daughter's team, but most of the parents are easy on this team's coach.

    You haven't had any articles on itchy boobs (or was it just sunburn?), so the count will eventually drop down.

    “Also, I fear I've severely overextended myself. Time will tell.”

    How so?

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