ten ways i’d never begin an entry

Okay, I was late getting to it this morning, because the minute I came in I had to run to a meeting and just got back. But anyway.

Mike and I bounce ideas off of one another like a baby-bouncing contest. So in conjunction with vitriolic spree, I bring you the following ten ways I’d never begin an entry.

1. “My life is so boring…”

*2. “I ate 600 calories today. So I’m down to 103 pounds now – only 10 more to go!”

3. “Let me tell you about the monster truck rally last night…”

4. “Here’s a poem I wrote…” Oh wait, I’ve done that. I meant, “Here are the lyrics to a song I really like…”

5. “Hey everyone, check out my new Christina/Britney/Avril/insert musical “artist” here template! ____ is totally my favorite song…”

*6. “I cut myself in four places on my arm last night, and it looks really cool, and check out my new pro-cutting template!”

7. “Today I got doped up and played Sega all day…”

8. “So I’ve been praying about this, and…”

9. “I’m really stressed about my upcoming vacation, because I won’t be able to go to the gym…”

10. “I’ve joined the Republican party…”

*please note: I am not ripping on people who are legitimately battling eating disorders/self-mutilation. I am, however, ripping on the disconcerting number of teenage girls who are finding it trendy to attempt to develop an eating disorder/self-mutilation, and making/joining diaryrings that are pro-these things, and getting templates that go along with this whole scary heroin-chic sort of trend. So, no hate mail.

Tune in later for a stolen story about a cool haircut.