Ray’s guacamole recipe is easy and kicks ass, and I’ve eaten it three times this weekend.
- 3 avocados (dark-colored and a little soft to the touch means they’re ripe)
- juice of 1 lime (or juice of a squeezy plastic lime if, like me, you’re lazy)
- 1 tomato
- 1 onion
- jalapeño or serrano peppers to taste (I use 2 jalapeños, but I’m kind of a wuss; if you want a lot of heat, use 3-4 serranos)
- salt, pepper, garlic powder (fresh garlic is okay too, but again – lazy)
Cut the avocados in half, pop out the pits, and scoop them out into a bowl with a spoon. This is way easier than peeling them. Hit ’em right away with the lime juice or else your avocados will turn yucky brown, and that’s no good. I think there’s some conversion factor like 1.5 tablespoons squeezy plastic lime juice = juice of one lime, but I just give the squeezy plastic lime a good healthy squeeze and that does fine. Mush it up a bit with a fork and let it sit there while you do the rest.
Chop the tomato and add it to the bowl. I don’t go out of my way to quite dice the tomato because, in a continuing theme, I’m lazy – and also because I like the texture better when I keep the tomatoes a little chunky.
I don’t like the texture of onions, so I pulverize the onion in my Handy Chopper until it’s about the consistency of applesauce and add it to the bowl.
If, like me, you’re a subconscious eye rubber, use gloves or plastic baggies or something on your hands when handling the peppers. I thought I was all badass and went without one time and, after several hours and multiple hand-washings, still managed to ruin a pair of contacts and blister my eyeballs because I am stupid. So, yeah. Cover your hands with something, and then cut the peppers in half and remove the stems and seeds. I also put the peppers in the Handy Chopper, although I don’t go quite as far with them as with the onion. Usually I mince them in there.
If you’re using fresh garlic, you can throw a few cloves in the chopper with the peppers.
Okay, so dump everything in your bowl. Stir it all up with your fork and add salt, pepper, and garlic powder (if applicable) to taste. Then, if you can stand it, pop a lid on your bowl and put it in the fridge for a couple of hours. It’s good now, but it’ll be better when the flavors mingle a little more.
You may want to double your ingredients at the store, because we tend to eat an entire bowl of this in one sitting and then make more. You could also just double it at the beginning but that would be applying logic to a situation and I try never to do that. It’s best, of course, with tortilla chips, but I’ve also been known to eat it straight.
Some people like to put cilantro in their guacamole, but I think cilantro tastes like dish soap and I hate it and it’s not coming anywhere near my food. Besides, it’s not in Ray’s recipe.
There you have it. Enjoy!