In other news, here’s a completely and totally hypothetical situation that requires reader advice:
Let’s pretend that someone I know is thinking about getting a tattoo. Said someone is down with the Chinese character tattoos (not my thing, but not my tattoo, so I don’t care) and has spent hours searching online for the perfect Chinese characters to tattoo on herself somewhere. Someone also doesn’t know any actual Chinese people in real life, so plans to visit the local Chinese restaurant and ask the hostess there (who is really very nice) what the characters she’s chosen mean, so that she is sure not to tattoo “asshole” on herself somewhere when she intended to tattoo “lucky” or something similar.
Okay. So. This totally and completely hypothetical person that I’m speaking of has chosen to get this not-asshole tattoo on the inner wrist of her left hand/arm.
Various arguments for/against this location are as follows:
- Inner wrist location is tacky;
- Inner wrist location is not tacky and totally fine (evidence in support: John Mayer and Kelly Clarkson have similar tattoos, and we should all take our cue from the behavior of pop stars);
- Tattoo-getter is planning to become an elementary school teacher, and extremely visible tattoo location could jeopardize career plans in this specific field;
- Tattoo-getter wears long sleeves most of the time anyway, so it shouldn’t matter;
- Tattoo-getter’s mother wonders where her children went wrong and threatens to shave off all her hair and install a zipper in the back of her skull if any children get tattooed;
- Tattoo-getter’s father thinks it’s totally fine and wants his own tattoo, on the back of a shoulder;
- Inner wrist location is TACKY, dear GOD;
- Tattoo-getter should consider ankle instead;
- Ankle is WAY tackier than inner wrist and totally white-trash;
- Cashier at grocery store has a very tasteful ankle tattoo that should be viewed next time arguer is at Kroger;
- Ankle is TACKY. TACKY. TACKY.
- Arguer would never get a tattoo anyway and is therefore disqualified from this argument.
And so on. Your thoughts here are welcome, particularly on the elementary-school teacher thing.