bad idea pants

So, I’m wearing these new pants today. My sisters and I call them the “Bad Idea Pants,” even though I’ve actually gotten tons of compliments on them.

Because, see, they’re like a large black and white houndstooth pattern. And I have this ass, see. Patterned pants and my ass generally don’t mix. My ass always wins.

Besides, they were $10 at Target and they were super funky, so I was like if I buy them and my most trusted friends and family say they look bad, then I’ve only lost ten bucks.

So. I test-drove them twice, with my most trusted friends and family – my mother, my sisters, and my friend Alex. These are people who would interrupt one another to be the first to tell me if I looked bad in something. In fact, they’ve told me I look awful in some perfectly normal clothes before. So I crossed my fingers, and I tried them on, and I said, “Tell me honestly. How do I look in these pants?” And every time, they said things like “Suprisingly, they look really good.” I think it’s because they aren’t stretchy pants. They’re lined, made of a good structured fabric, and a nice winter weight.

So finally today I got the guts to wear them to work, with a simple black sweater. And to my surprise, I really have gotten compliments!

And not like “those are…interesting” compliments, but like “those kick ass! where did you get them?” compliments.

Maybe everyone’s lying to save my feelings, but it seems like they’re a big hit. So I guess I’ll keep wearing them.

Oh, hey, how come everyone in the free world got The Da Vinci Code for Christmas and is currently reading it – EXCEPT ME? Hmm?

12 Replies to “bad idea pants”

  1. i didn't get “The DaVinci Code” for christmas. i take that as an indication that my friends actually like me. send me pictures of your pants. a nice booty shot will do.

  2. I didn't get it, and I want it! So there. Also, I have Bad Idea Pants myself. Awesome. Also, you need to call me because there will be slumber party goodness Friday night! Katrina's got a whole handle of SoCo! We're gonna party like it's 1988! Except there will be drinking! Woo!

  3. I totally bought and returned those same pants. I wouldn't call them “Bad Idea” pants, rather “Bad Ass.” Not bad ass as in “I'm a mean mutha f-er.” As in, “They really make my ass look bad.”

  4. Oh, no. People don't compliment pants to make you feel okay about them. They just say nothing. Then whisper about you behind your back. So if that's not the case, then kudos to you for the selection of your Bad Idea Jeans….er, pants.

  5. Read Angels & demons first, it's the Da Vinci Codes character's firt adventure, a very action packed mystery, and it's in paperback so it's nice and cheap. And I want a botty shot also.

  6. I've seen it in stores and on bedside tables in patients' rooms…but don't have a copy myself. I think this means the free world is safe from annihilation. If I don't have it – everyone can live a worry-free life.

  7. oooohh… this da vinci code madness – please, to consider, history books, art history books, religious history and art books – much more worth your time.

    And if you want adventure/mystery/cool the consider Pattern Recognition by William Gibson. A lot of people didn't like it either but, a lot who did have been fanatical about it. Difference is, it won't dumb you down with off-the-mark pseudo-facts and history.

    just a suggestion – and, hey, nice pants.

  8. I have da book and was supposed to read it for book club, but I never got into it. I'm not blaming the story and am open to the fact that the problem might have been me and my mood at the time.

    So it still sits on a table in my room. I haven't given up on it, but I've also not embraced it.

  9. Didn't get it for Christmas either!

    My ghetto booty managed to break the zipper on my very own pair of Bad Idea Pants — to my dismay no one had any safety pins and I had to walk around the office all day with my hands over my open fly. GRRREAT!

  10. Amy, was there nary a folder around to carry with you? a Large cup? A calendar, a memo, a sweater to drap over your forearm?

    Whenever you need advice on how to cover up a “suddenly embarassing” “lower area” just ask guys around you – we all had our opportunity to pick up a few tricks during middle and high-school.

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