Cruel Summer

June 2, 2006

It is hot. It is damn hot. It is hot preceded by any of a number of colorful and very profane descriptive words.

I should maybe not whine so much about it, since it’s not as hot now as it was earlier this week, but when you get to a certain combination of heat and humidity, it’s just damn hot, whether it’s 85 degrees damn hot or 95 degrees damn hot. And the heat, she makes me whiny.

I should also add that it’s damn hot outside. In my office, it is freezing cold – so cold, in fact, that I have been bringing in long-sleeved sweaters to wear at my desk, and have been running my space heater during the day. In my house, on the first floor, it is also cold, although not quite so cold as my office.

The second floor of my house is outside times a hundred. It’s fucking hot upstairs.

All of these temperature fluctuations are seriously screwing with me. I can’t sleep well because my bedroom is so hot, even with two fans running at all times. I can’t function well outside because between the heat and humidity and out-of-control pollen, my sinuses are in rebellion. And when I go from a freezing cold office to a damn hot outside to a really cold downstairs to a fucking hot upstairs, the blood vessels in my head are rapidly expanding and contracting to the point that I’m having headaches that make me worry that my head may actually explode.

I don’t want to work out, either indoors or outdoors, because it’s so disgustingly hot and because I’m not sleeping well and I don’t feel well. I want to cut off all my hair, because the thought of using a hair dryer is about as appealing as the thought of climbing into an oven and baking at 350 degrees for an hour, and when I don’t dry my hair it looks like an alien laid eggs on my head.

I’m grouchy. Last night I thought I’d sleep downstairs where it was cooler, and Marco bugged the everloving hell out of me until 5 in the morning, when I gave up and went upstairs to get two hours of restless sleep in my sweltering bedroom. I’m tired. My face hurts.

Filed under: everyday stories

13 Comments Leave a Comment

  • 1. Amy Bo Bamy  |  June 2, 2006 at 12:07 pm

    Cruel indeed!! It’s been really hot here and the only thing I can keep thinking is, “if it’s this hot *now* then what the hell is it going to be like in August?!” which is The Hottest Damn Time of the Year in Texas.

  • 2. Sandy  |  June 2, 2006 at 12:15 pm

    Yeah, welcome to St. Louis in MARCH. It was so hot I thought it would DIE. Fortunately, we had one crazy cold snap for like, 2 months, except for last week, wherein it was 95, and then last night it was cold and clammy in my room. The only thing worse than hot and clammy is cold and clammy. Yech.

  • 3. ~A  |  June 2, 2006 at 2:04 pm

    Conditions at LAX, Los Angeles

    2006.06.02 1850 UTC
    Wind from the W (260 degrees) at 9 MPH (8 KT)
    Visibility 2 mile(s)
    Sky conditions partly cloudy
    Weather Mist
    Temperature 68.0 F
    Dew Point 60.1 F
    Relative Humidity 75%
    Pressure (altimeter) 29.99 in. Hg (1015 hPa)

  • 4. jen  |  June 2, 2006 at 3:17 pm

    I relate to your hair dryer comment. I’ve simply learned to bun it at night while wet, and let it down wavy in the a.m. after it’s dry. You should give it a try; you may also want to try some anti-friz product. AND bunning it requires using the pencil-style hair stick. Or whatever works for you.

    But who’s talking? Me, with the hair always up.

    Oh, and ~A, suck it (said in a lovingly manner).

  • 5. Hugo  |  June 2, 2006 at 4:40 pm

    Did you stay up to watch the best softball game I’ve seen in years? Go Wildcats Go!

  • 6. Lollie  |  June 2, 2006 at 5:04 pm

    Welcome to my world. Florida…it’s basically Fiji or Alaska. You’re “cool” with the AC in your house (this, ps, is the only place in this godforesaken state where you have any control of how cold your ta-tas are), then you sweat your balls off in the car, until the air kicks in and then you’re freezing because the vent in the car, no matter where you point it, manages to tunnel right into your ear. Then you park and trudge to the mall/office/restaurant, again sweating your nards to melting point (black asphalt in FL is the devil…this is why we have valet parking everywhere), only to find that the stick on the back of your neck has frozen to Slurpee consistency. *sigh* But hell, it doesn’t snow here like it did in Winnipeg, so I’m all good with that.

  • 7. lorie  |  June 2, 2006 at 5:37 pm

    Hugo, I did stay up for all ten innings (which is one more reason I’m sleepy today). You’re right, it was fantastic – even better since NU prevailed!

  • 8. andrew  |  June 2, 2006 at 11:05 pm

    Please don’t cut off all your hair. It’s really nice hair.

  • 9. Sandy  |  June 3, 2006 at 12:02 am

    I’m back.

  • 10. Ginny  |  June 3, 2006 at 12:05 am

    sounds like you have something wrong with your air… you should get that looked at… like that time when the cats tore up the duct work and all the cold air just went outside? … maybe something happened during the Sasha-in-the-vent incident?

    And also… The weather here sucks too.. It was like 50 for the first 2 weeks of may so that i was able to wear jeans and hoodies to class… and now it’s all hot and thunderstormy… and Now i’m SICK!!! Summer is the suck.

  • 11. jim  |  June 3, 2006 at 4:59 am

    much like ~A, i should point out that it was in the low 70s here today. a little rain this morning but gorgeous the rest. i biked home with a hoodie on and was very comfy.

    people wonder why i love portland. reason #8594353

  • 12. will  |  June 5, 2006 at 8:31 am

    Might I recommend the movie An Inconvenient Truth (which I saw last night)? Check to find a theatre near you.

    Jim, Portland is an awesome place when it comes to visionary planning and overall lifestyle. Biking is the way to go.

  • 13. jim  |  June 6, 2006 at 1:40 am

    aw. thanks, will.

    today a friend who is visiting said to me, “what is this place?” after we tried to explain the zoobomb ( ) to him.

    it was an awesome moment.

Leave a Comment

, (Hidden)

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

TrackBack URL  |  RSS feed for comments on this post.

Recent Posts

Recent Comments


Most Popular Posts