even though no one wants to hear about your dreamland

I have been having some totally whacked-out dreams lately. I have no idea why. Last night I was in a big gray city, and in the clammy weather my dad and I visited a chocolate shop and ordered single truffles and ate a few and packaged some to take home for Jamie, and someone across the street was squabbling over spaces in a parking lot, but the weirdest thing of all is that I was trying to get to this place to meet my dad, and I couldn’t make it until a thin giant, taller than the buildings, picked me up and carried me in his hand. I tried to explain to my dad how I’d gotten there and pointed out the giant, but as the giant got closer I realized that this wasn’t the giant who’d carried me at all, but rather a different, elderly giant. My giant was younger and talked to me while he carried me, about how he sometimes liked to run his hands along the tops of the buildings for balance if he was moving fast. His voice was soft and even though I’m afraid of heights I felt very calm when he carried me.

I’ve been having a series of odd dreams about a place where I’m staying, that is sometimes an apartment and sometimes a room in a big weird hotel. This time it was in the hotel. The room is always barely furnished and has really tall white walls. It’s kind of like a racquetball court. Sometimes it exists in this apocalyptic future but the hotel is something from another time, with elevator attendants and stuff. There’s a fancy floor with dark wood paneling and luxurious carpets but I’m never on that floor. I just see it sometimes on my way to my own floor. Last night I was trying to go to the convenience store on the ground floor because I was hungry. The convenience store was more like the kitchen of a hole-in-the-wall restaurant, and they sold falafel and hot dogs and garlic and strings of glass beads and that was it.

I feel like this site is wilting and dying but I’ve just had trouble finding motivation to write. It seems like there’s nothing going on and then there’s too much going on and I don’t know what to say about it. Getting out of the daily writing habit seems to have made my writing particularly loose and unfocused and I start to hate everything I have to say.

So instead I tell you about this vivid, cinematic dream world I live in lately.