The Magpie

Abby steals things on a regular basis. I’m not sure if she has a place where she hoards her loot or not, although I like to think she does because things disappear around here and I can’t seem to find them anywhere.

She likes shiny things, strings, and ponytail holders the best, although she doesn’t confine herself to only stealing things that match one of those categories. In her upstairs bed is a Target receipt she carried around with her for a few days. Just a little while ago I caught her trying to pick up a CD – I guess that’s a shiny thing, though.

She’s tried to take my watch several times, but it’s too bulky for her to carry. If I take her collar off for even a moment, she grabs it out of my hand and takes off with it.

Both kittens get their front claws trimmed every two weeks or so with a small scissor-shaped pair of clippers. Neither one of them particularly loves it, but Marco will at least stay quiet and keep the squirming to a minimum. Abby, on the other hand, shrieks and whines and wails like I’m cutting her actual fingers off. She loathes the nail clippers and has made it her mission in life to steal them so that I can’t inflict their (completely painless) torture on her ever again.

I think it’s hilarious when she steals the clippers, and sometimes I let her take them to see how far she’ll get with them. They’re kind of hard for her to carry, so she’ll usually get halfway across the living room and give up, or Marco will bite her butt or something and she’ll get distracted.

Last week we had the five-minute clipping ordeal, and as soon as she swallowed her Pounce treat, she promptly picked up the clippers and took off with them. I kept an eye on her for a few minutes and then the phone rang or something and I forgot about her.

The next thing I knew, she was on top of the refrigerator. With the clippers.

Jumping on top of the fridge is totally standard cat behavior, as far as I know, but Abby had been eyeing the summit since the day I brought her home, and that night was the first time she actually made it up there. And by God, she took the hated clippers with her. I don’t know if she was trying to force a standoff or what, but she really seemed to be holding them hostage.

Of course, she then got stuck up there, and I had to help her get down.