Just A Girl
This weekend I went furniture shopping with my parents and one of my sisters. I wasn’t going to buy anything, but I wanted to take a look around and see what was available and what kind of prices I’d be looking at for my living room furniture vs. mattress and box spring decision.
I was in the door ahead of my parents and immediately told John the Salesguy that we were just browsing, but I’d gotten his name and I’d find him if we had any questions.
John the Salesguy made a point of approaching us at least three more times during our visit to that store, and each time, I was the one who spoke to him. Because, see, I’m the one shopping for furniture and/or a mattress.
John the Salesguy lost any shot in hell he had of selling me a single damn thing when he gave his business card to my dad on our way out of the store.
This morning, all the guys in the office are talking about the football games yesterday.Â I’m in this new area where they don’t know me as well, and I feel weird about going out of my office and around the corner to butt in on the conversation, but as it happened, I watched both of the games while wearing my 1986 AFC West Division Champions old-school Denver Broncos t-shirt, and I called my parents at least twice during the game to bitch about play calls and other random stuff, and I’m a little tiny bit irritated this morning that the first words out of the guys’ mouths to each other are about football, and they don’t even ask me about my weekend.Â And I don’t want to be all whiny like “Just because I have boobs doesn’t mean I don’t like football YOU BASTARDS!” because, honestly, they probably just don’t know.Â But I’m grouchy about it, especially after the business card incident (which was pretty blatant).
Wah.Â I’m a brat.
10 Replies to “Just A Girl”
I had a similar experience when Barry and I were buying our super awesome washer and dryer from Sears (we decided to buy from Sears because of all the great stuff they provide for Extreme Makeover-Home Edition). The salesguy was ringing us up and asked if we wanted to purchase the additional warranty. Right away, I said “no” and shook my head. The salesguy then looked up and over at Barry and asked Barry if we wanted to purchase the additional warranty. I just about had a hissy fit. I started saying kind of loud and bratty, “Oh that’s funny! I thought I just said ‘no’ to that same question. Huh! Interesting!”.
In the end, Barry convinced me it was just some sort of misunderstanding on the guy’s part. I still wasn’t very happy about the whole thing though.
I was so sad about that game last night… I had an SAI meeting right after it, and we start with happy thoughts, and this one girl was like “the steelers are going to the super bowl” and i was like “not sad a depressing thoughts… happy thoughts!” John Elway would have so won that game.
butt in to the conversation. That is, unless you want to be treated like a girl. You see, guys don’t have a problem butting into conversations.
…Steelers won; that was nice.
I took a women’s psychology class a couple of years ago. The professor discussed how people talk to couples; most often they will talk to the man and occasionally look at the woman. I’ve noticed this even in social situations, at bars or parties.
Very interesting, but very annoying.
AH, yeah, i guess that’s true about people talking to the guy half of the couple — except, where i work, women are the primary customers, and the main shoppers. so when i’m talking to couples, most of my questions will be directed to and answered by the woman. it’s a funny role reversal, and now i realize why so many dudes get all uncomfortable in our store. dudes, if you wear little girl clothes, please, PLEASE accept my sincere and slightly disturbed apologies. but yeah, men, generally, are insecure, simple minded, and mean. same for the ladies. doesn’t make it right, but … it’s people. and if it weren’t this, it would be something else. i’d just make a point of fucking with him. hard. be like, “hi, my name’s lori. this is my credit card. i was thinking of buying furniture in your store, but jackass john didn’t want to talk to me, despite my attempts at interacting with him. instead, jack ass john made a point of talking to my dad, who doesn’t speak english and has no money.” that’s how i’d spin it, anyway, when i called and talked to john’s manager.which i think you should do.
I have to admit, that last little bit by John the Salesguy would’ve stopped me dead in my tracks — at which point I would’ve plucked the business card from my father’s fingers and handed it back to John the Salesguy, along with, “Actually no, thank you, I don’t think we’ll be needing that AS I’M THE ONE LOOKING FOR FURNITURE.”
Okay, maybe not.
But yeah, it woulda pissed me off too.
Odd that, so far, no one else has suggested that women simply speak up.
I had a girlfriend* that would never put up with being over-looked. Oh, and god-forbid a waiter place the check in front of me instead of between the both of us.
I mean, I don’t like these things either and I’ll make a bit of a show about people’s (men’s) assumptions from time to time but she would go all-out sometimes and leave them shaken.
I absolutely L-o-v-e-d it.
(*Come to think of it, several girlfriends were like this.)
yeah. i’m trying not to be a super dick about stuff these days, cause i’m just trying not to do that in general…. BUT, i see NOTHING wrong with saying something!! you’re NOT being a brat. there’s nothing wrong with seeing the patriarchy in full swing and thinking and knowing it’s bullshit.
say something. call people out. most people don’t even know they’re doing it. and the people that do should be called on it, too!! HEY, it’s 2006! this is NOT how i want or need to be treated. and i don’t have to. i’m no one’s property. i am my own person. i have rights and insights and intellect and can speak up for myself. i can think for myself. i can make decisions.
and you can even do it nicely. assertive. not passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive. my problem is that i’m so used to saying nothing that i normally DO that until i’m ready to break, and then i end up saying something that comes off really bitchy, and then people end up coming off with the old stereotype “feminist=bitch.” which is NOT what i’m trying to do.
so, yeah. as as far as football, if you want to talk about it, just butt in. that’s what i do. and depending on the group of guys, i’m either ignored, or they’re surprised to know i know anything. i normally don’t do it unless i’m twice as informed as they are, but whatever.
i think you’re right on point.
Oh, GODDDDDD, the second week of the pro football season, a guy from our electrical department talked me into getting into the football pool, thinking he’d make an easy $2 off me. I pretty much figured as much as well, but lo and behold, I made $106. As I ran next week’s pool (which, by the way, he had assured me I wouldn’t have to do, the bastard), I got asked NUMEROUS times “Did you pick the teams with the prettiest uniforms?” I just answered honestly: “I closed my eyes, and wherever my finger landed, I picked that team.” This pissed them off SO hard, for whatever reason. I think because they put so much time and effort, all week, into making their $2 picks, and I (who am, admittedly, a clueless girl when it comes to football) come in and walk off with the biggest amount of money all season. At any rate, it was pretty fucking sweet.
i’m wondering if there’s another way to interpret Salesguy John’s behavior.
as you say, he approached you three times, and it seems that you more or less shooed him away each time. he then handed his card to your dad as the four of you were LEAVING the store — presumably, without your having made him feel that you, personally, were going to buy anything.
is it possible that, once he correctly realized that you were not going to be a paying customer that day, he simply took a shot with another member of your shopping party in the hopes that he, unlike you, might be more likely to buy some furniture (either right then, or in the future)?
now, if he said something to your dad like, “Let me know when the pretty little lady gets her head on straight and makes a decision,” then your original point is pretty much irrefutable… and i certainly know what you’re accusing ol’ John of, since i’ve personally witnessed (as boyfriend, brother, and even son) the “pitch to the man, since has the money and makes all the decisions” approach.
is it possible, though, that he wasn’t being a sexist (and perhaps ageist) prick, but rather acting on a salesperson’s instinct that Person A (you) was not shaping up to be a “dotted line,” but Person B (your dad) just might be?