point me toward normalcy

I am hungry. This is good, the feeling of actual distinctive hunger. Mostly in the last week or so I’ve had the kind of hunger that pops up only when someone asks me if I’m hungry, and I can only eat when someone parks me at a table with food. I can’t make decisions about where to go or what to order. I just know that I’m tired of sandwiches, and by the end of this week I’ll probably be tired of fried chicken. But I’m thankful to all the people who’ve brought food by, because without it we wouldn’t be eating at all. Cooking is way too much for us to manage right now. The last time I cooked anything was when I made macaroni and cheese at 3 in the morning after I brought Sam and Jay back from the emergency room.

I didn’t make it to the hospital yesterday because I was busy as fuck, but I just talked to Ginny on the phone and she sounds great, almost like her normal self. When I talk to her on the phone it’s easy to forget for a minute that she’s in a hospital bed with five broken bones. She says they’ve gotten a bed in the rehab place for her and that they’re probably going to move her there tomorrow. She’ll be there for a week or so after that and then she’ll come home. And that’s when the real work begins.

So hey, I took the book quiz linked on Candied Ginger and Annika’s page, and it turns out I’m Ulysses. Which means that none of you wants to admit that you can’t figure me the fuck out.

You’re Ulysses! by James Joyce

Most people are convinced that you don’t make any sense, but compared to what else you could say, what you’re saying now makes tons of sense. What people do understand about you is your vulgarity, which has convinced people that you are at once brilliant and repugnant. Meanwhile you are content to wander around aimlessly, taking in the sights and sounds of the city. What you see is vast, almost limitless, and brings you additional fame. When no one is looking, you dream of being a Greek folk hero.

Take the Book Quiz at the Blue Pyramid.

A couple of weeks ago I signed up with eharmony, not because I want to get married but because I wanted to take the FREE! personality profile. But then one of my matches had a lot in common with me and put his email address in his profile so I don’t have to spend $50 to pretend to want to marry him. I sent him an email and he emailed me back…on Monday. And I’ve been kind of busy. So now I’m not sure what to do – I mean, he seems cool, but how do you say “Sorry I haven’t written, but I’ve been really busy with this horrible tragedy. So here are the answers to your questions!” without completely killing any sort of friendly vibe? I don’t want him to think he offended me or anything, it’s just that shit happened.

So that’s what I’m thinking about right now. There are better times and worse times. Mostly I’m just really tired, which makes everything seem worse, but really things are slowly getting better. I think.