in my bag

I am completely and quite thoroughly bored out of my skull. Luckily I can get the hell out of this place in 26 minutes and enjoy the lack of rain for twenty minutes or so until we have another downpour.

So anyway. I’m giving you a list of all the stuff in my bag. I got it at Old Navy for $6. It’s suede. I feel very special about that. Anyway, here’s what’s in it:

1. “Cool Mint” Ice Breakers mints

2. Coupons for Sheetz

3. Two checkbooks, because apparently I am a money launderer or something

4. Sunglasses that I never get to use anymore, as the sun has forsaken us

5. Keyring containing the following: Daimler-Chrysler keyless entry system with panic button; super-special programmed ignition key for a certain 2002 Dodge Neon; keys for the office; keys for the phonathon room; swipey cards for Food Lion, Kroger, Blockbuster, and Staples

6. Two items of personal feminine hygiene

7. Tiny foldable hairbrush

8. Cover Girl Fresh Look pressed powder in “translucent light”

9. A shopping list that isn’t mine

10. A 4″ x 5″ spiral notebook for writing ideas

11. Three blue Pentel RSVP ink pens

12. Small metal nail file (can’t take that shit on a plane, no sir)

13. Small bottle of Johnson’s baby lotion

14. ReNu Multi-Plus lubricating & rewetting drops (which isn’t as dirty as it sounds)

15. First aid arsenal: 8 Sudafeds, 6 Claritins, 4 Tylenol Allergy-Sinus, 1 Axert, 1 Band-Aid brand bandage, Cherry Rolaids, 2 Robitussin cough drops, and a moist towlette from KFC

16. One hair elastic

17. Two tiny keys to a lock box (work-related)

18. Lip products: Ultra Berry Chap-stick (the preferred item), Bonne Bell Honey Kiss, Jane Megabites Glossy Gloss

19. Business card holder containing the following: 3 postage stamps, 1 picture of Sam and Timmy, 1 post-it with phone numbers on it, 6 of my own business cards, 4 other people’s business cards, an expired auto insurance card, a voice mail instruction thing, and another shopping list that doesn’t belong to me

20. Wallet containing the following: expired Old Navy coupon, several receipts, credit cards, business cards, driver’s license, staff ID, college ID (for cheap movies, woo), and 89 cents (current net worth).

Damn, wasn’t that exciting? It sure helped me kill a few minutes.

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