wasting away

Oh, wow, hey. I guess I should be a little better with this writing thing, huh? Considering how I spend ten of my hard-earned American dollars each month to have this website. Though I spend four times that on my gym membership and, um…I think I might have gone in August. I definitely went a few times in July. I also have this mad-expensive digital cable plan and, seriously, besides the basic FOX, NBC, ABC, & CBS, the only channels I watch at all are in the ESPN family, or the Adult Alternative digital music channel. And even those aren’t regular occurrences. And I’m not watching ESPN all that much this fall because most Northwestern games are on the new Big 10 Network which Comcast won’t carry, so blah. What else do I spend money on that is currently a waste? Netflix. Maybe my home phone. I guess that’s it as far as regular expenses. I have other stuff I pay for that is certainly not necessary, but I feel like I use that stuff enough to justify the cost (hi, Internet and TiVo) so there’s that.

I honestly don’t know if I’ve mentioned this here or not, but one of the big reasons I’m not writing much is because I’m the project manager on a huge, huge thing at work that is seriously eating me alive. I feel pretty safe in saying that this is the most stress I’ve ever been under in my life, and it’s been getting worse and worse since April or so. In college when I almost didn’t graduate on time I was under a lot of stress, but that was all about managing my own time and resources. Now, it’s 20 other people and 150,000 records and multiple departments in addition to my other responsibilities, which filled up a day quite well on their own. I work late a lot and my healthy routines (sleeping, eating, working out, keeping a good budget) have completely gone down the toilet. I sleep weird hours and I dream about work. I eat Chinese food, cereal, and Diet Coke. I am a perfectionist and I feel like my entire career hinges on whether or not I bring this project to a successful and timely conclusion in November.

This is boring.

Want to hear about how I hurt my foot at work because of all the things I listed above? Sure you do. You know I try not to write about my job here, and specifically, my coworkers and office politics and stuff. So…hmm. How to handle this? Okay, let’s just say that someone asked me to do something that was fairly ridiculous and would have caused several people to question my sanity. And I refused. And then that same someone sent me an email suggesting that I send another email to someone else clarifying something I said in an earlier email, and that if someone else didn’t respond to my email about the email then I should call that person and explain what I said in the email about the email. And so on. Many of my days are like this lately.

So I went into a coworker’s office to vent, and as I was venting I stomped my feet a bit, which I have learned in the last two weeks is evidently something I do quite regularly without realizing it. But I was feeling fine about stomping, and I could have stomped for another few hours, except that in the midst of the stomping I felt a shooting pain behind my left inner ankle. So I figured that stopping stomping would probably be a good idea. And it didn’t hurt much then, but it got progressively worse over the next few days until I was limping and had to ice it and wear a brace. It’s still not quite better because I’m a dumbass and wore 3-inch heels to my high school reunion and strained it a bit more. At work we call this Temper Tantrum Foot. It’s an epidemic.

Oh, yeah, I had my ten-year high school reunion on Saturday. Now that it’s over, I feel comfortable saying that I temporarily lost my damn mind due to stressing about looking and acting just right at the thing. I went on a weird spree of ordering things online and having them overnighted, only to have them not fit right, so I’d go shopping and return stuff and in the end I wore a shirt I’ve had for two years over a camisole I’ve had longer. I did wear hot red shoes though. The reunion was fine. I saw some people I was really happy to reconnect with, and some people I didn’t give a crap about, and some people I seriously forgot I graduated with, and everyone was very friendly and it was fine. Not that big a deal. We left early because my best friend there is 8 months pregnant and tires quickly, and DJ NasteeNice (I wish I made that up) was spinning 1997 jams at top volume, making it impossible to catch up with friends anymore. This is how you know I’m old. I’m like, dude. I can download “Return of the Mack” and “This is How We Do It” on iTunes if I miss them that much. I don’t know if I’ll ever see these people again.

Umm…I went to Chicago and it kind of sucked for reasons I don’t want to go into here. I went to Atlanta and it really sucked, basically because getting there was a bitch and I got stranded in Charlotte for the night. I did write a strongly-worded letter and get a $250 flight voucher out of it, though, so that helped make me feel better. I stayed home sick with a cold today. Yesterday on my way home from work I witnessed a pretty messy car accident and sat with one of the drivers and talked to her until the police and rescue crews came to tend to her. She was elderly and really rattled and I still feel bad that I couldn’t get her calm enough to give me a number I could call for her family. I hope she is okay and didn’t have to stay by herself long. I didn’t realize how shaken up the accident made me until, while on the phone at the grocery store, I lost track and put three boxes of the same kind of cereal in my cart. The accident sounded awful, but I’ve heard crashes before. What bothered me most was the smell. The smell was really bad. If I’d left work through the main gate instead of the back I might have been the other driver in that accident.

So…yeah. That’s some of what’s been going on. You all deserve better than this but I should be in bed. I’ll try harder.

Comments 8

  • Girl, you got bigger fish to fry than us. We’ll hang until you can get back to us. In the mean time, your blog is beautiful, the shoes were hot, and I’m happy that you made it through your reunion with your sanity intact.

  • i feel bad for nagging about posting now, but i am glad you did! Feel better and ignore my vm’s that you will get!

    can i beat some bitches at your work so you can get stuff done, cause it would be my extreme pleasure…As you know I get excitement out of other raining on people’s parades that I don’t care for!

  • Yay! You’re back. I like the new layout.

    I think I might start stomping at work too.

  • Yay Fall layout. Just think, you get to come see me next weekend and see football, and have pumpkin ice cream at Klines!! Woot.

  • Your stomping story makes me think of the video game Animal Crossing — it released for GameCube and Nintendo DS. Did you ever play it? You have these animal friends, and when they are in a bad mood, they stomp and clouds puff up above their heads. That’s how I feel sometimes, and it always makes me laugh to remember that my Animal Crossing “friends” do the same thing.

    I’m sure the project will have a magnificent conclusion in November. If anyone can make it happen, you can. Hang in there!

  • I think I need to buy Animal Crossing now. The thought of stompy little animal friends makes me smile. And GameCube is the only console I own – what luck!

  • Love the new layout!! And those hot red shoes — totally hawt. Hopefully after your huge project wraps up in November things will settle down enough so that you can thoroughly enjoy the best time of the year!! :o)

  • i’m sorry i missed you in chicago. i am also sorry it sucked for some reason. much love, the smusser

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