ranch style

October 1, 2007

It is dangerous when I go to the grocery store without a list, particularly when it’s way too late on a Sunday night and I haven’t had anything to eat all day except Krispy Kreme donut holes and Welch’s fruit snacks and I’m starving and just got paid and the cats are out of food and OMG OMG grocery store emergency! So there I was at Kroger at 8:30 or 9:00 last night.

I started out fairly reasonably. I bought the cat food, ostensibly the primary purpose of the trip. I got butter, since I’ve been out of it for like two months and may need to use it again someday. I added some frozen dinners because I eat them a lot and they were on wicked major sale. And I got some ibuprofen, because I need it for the extremely ferocious and painful tomatoface sunburn I have right now. And then things started to go downhill.

Sugar-free limeade. Chewy Chips Ahoy cookies (I have recently decided that all other brands are inferior). Frosted Flakes, which I haven’t eaten for at least ten years if not longer. A bottle of pinot noir. Soup. Lots of soup. Mmm, soup. Soup soup soup. Ranch dressing. Sugar snap peas and baby carrots. And then there was the can of Ranch Style Beans.

I have a lot of readers who now live or once lived in Texas. I had never heard of Ranch Style Beans until someone mentioned them in comments or on their own blog. It was all in lowercase, and I was like, “what in the hell is a ranch style bean?” thinking maybe it was a method of cooking it or something. I was informed quickly that Ranch Style Beans are wonderful and awesome and very Texas and I didn’t think much about them after that.

But now my grocery store carries them. I know this is a fairly recent addition because I know my Kroger very well. I’m not sure why they started selling Ranch Style Beans all of a sudden, but I’m guessing someone requested them. They’ll usually order something for you if you ask for it.

So I have this can of Ranch Style Beans in my pantry and now I don’t know what to do with it. Do you just heat them up and eat them like that? Are you supposed to use them in a recipe or something? Are they really that good?

Tell me!

Filed under: everyday stories

12 Comments Leave a Comment

  • 1. Ginny  |  October 1, 2007 at 11:18 pm

    Are there no label directions on the can?

    B the W… my face is one giant blister – it sucks.

  • 2. lauren  |  October 2, 2007 at 11:02 am

    Throw that shit on some nachos.

  • 3. ~A  |  October 2, 2007 at 2:09 pm

    Krispy Kreme donut holes and Welch’s fruit snacks … I’m biting my tongue.

    – Ranch Style Beans – Two cans + half an amber beer + some bacon (chopped) + a sprig or whatever of cilantro, half a lime one jalapeño pepper: simmer all for about an hour or until it’s thickened a bit not so long that the beans are too soft and become mushy.

    Serve in a bowl with some tortilla chips on the side.

  • 4. Ginny  |  October 2, 2007 at 4:21 pm

    Okay, now i’m confused.. are these bean beans… I’m thinking green beans…

  • 5. ~A  |  October 2, 2007 at 4:45 pm


  • 6. Rebekah  |  October 3, 2007 at 3:16 pm

    We always have Ranch Style Beans with barbeque.

  • 7. Rebekah  |  October 3, 2007 at 3:18 pm

    And ~A, stop judging people’s food choices. Must I remind you of the giant bag of trail mix you like to consume despite being allergic to it?

  • 8. Amy Bo Bamy  |  October 3, 2007 at 4:37 pm

    You know, I’ve had cans of Ranch Style Beans in my pantry, for like, forever and have never opened them up or tried to cook them. But I hear they’re awesome delicious. That reminds me, I should probably throw those cans away, they’re probably all expired and stuff… :)

  • 9. Hugo  |  October 3, 2007 at 11:10 pm

    I microwave them with this weird vegan cheese. Eat them with spelt tortillas and feel very virtuous.

  • 10. ~A  |  October 4, 2007 at 11:45 am

    1. That stuff listed isn’t food. In fact, I challenge you to find any food in it (them).
    2. I don’t eat the trail mix any more. It took two times for me to make the connection and now I don’t touch it anymore.
    3. Lorie, what’d you finally do with the beans? We all wanna know! :o)

    (and, anyway, I bit my tongue! I didn’t cast aspersions ’til you just made me – no fair!)

  • 11. jen  |  October 11, 2007 at 2:00 pm

    Um, I’m late, but I want to know if you ate the beans!!

    You can just heat them up and eat them out of a bowl — they’re like pinto beans, for all of you non-Texans, but much, much better.

  • 12. Eric  |  October 18, 2007 at 4:57 am

    Ranch Style Beans have a shelf life of 2 years. They are cooked in the can so you can just heat and eat, or just eat. Its all good, just enjoy them.

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