bright and shiny

You know how when you break up with someone you’ve been seeing for a long time and start your inevitable rebound relationship, you go through that phase where the rebound is all bright and shiny and new, and everything – every single thing – about the rebound is better than the old boyfriend?

Do I have to write even one more sentence before you catch on that this post is not actually about boyfriends, but about my hair? Yeah, that should do it.

Way back in June, I confessed that I was thinking about cheating on Jonathan with a new stylist. At that time, I wasn’t going to dump Jonathan. In my head, Jonathan was still my stylist. I just wanted to fool around on the side a bit.

(In case you were wondering, this is not how I generally approach real-life relationships with actual men. Just saying.)

But, as you remember, I wasn’t even sure where to find my new fling, and I was feeling all guilty about it, and so I did what any normal person would do and I waited until the end of August to get my next haircut. And I went back to Jonathan for it. I was thinking that maybe this would redeem our relationship, and all would be well. But, no.

Strike one: I think I’d mentioned that he didn’t send me a postcard when he moved. Well, then when I was in the chair he made some comment about how all his clients had already come to the new place except for me and some other lady, and I was like yeah, I’m lucky I knew WHERE TO FIND YOU. And he did not seem appropriately sorry for forgetting to send me the card.

Strike two: He forgot my name. Again. And, you know, maybe I’m a narcissist, but come on. He’s been cutting my hair for nearly five years, and I’ve spent literally hundreds of dollars on him, and you’d think he could at least look in the appointment book and PRETEND to remember my damn name when I walk through the door.

Strike three: The style he gave me looked great that day and like utter crap every day since. I don’t know what it was he did, but I truly hated that last haircut. And I could have called back and asked him to fix it for free, and he probably would have, but I was already teetering at that point and the hair-hate was enough to tip me over the edge.

I used to read Cosmo, and one reason I don’t anymore is because they recycle all their articles every three months or so. One of Cosmo’s favorite articles to recycle was the one about how to break up with your hairdresser. They said that you had to go about it a certain way, and you couldn’t just cut and run, so to speak. You had to talk it out. It was impolite to do otherwise.

Another reason I no longer read Cosmo is because I found all their advice utterly useless, ridiculous, and rarely entertaining. Krispy Kreme-aided fellatio? Um, no. And also, ew. I wouldn’t even consider that. Also, I don’t feel like I need to call Jonathan and tell him we’re through. I just decided I won’t ever go there again. Probably this means I will begin running into Jonathan on a weekly, if not daily basis, because I never once saw him out in public when I was his client. So now I’ll see him everywhere and I’ll either have to hide behind a store display or else have an awkward conversation about how my hair looks so damn fabulous when I CLEARLY haven’t had it cut since September, because you know I used to tell Jonathan he was the only person who could touch my hair.

And my hair? It is truly fabulous.

Exit Jonathan. Enter Joey, my new boyfriend. Er, I mean hairdresser.

I should probably not talk about how Joey is hot, straight, smart, and lots of fun to talk to in addition to being a kickass stylist, because just my luck he’s reading this. Hi, Joey! I love my hair!

My new salon is cooler than my old salon in every possible way. It’s in a nicer location. It’s sleek and modern. It has better music. It carries Bumble and bumble products, which are crazy expensive but soooooo good. And the people who work there are just awesome. I was the last customer of the day, and when I walked through the door they said, “Oh, hi! You must be Lorie. It’s so nice to meet you!”

Maybe it was different because it was quiet and everyone else had gone home, but the owner and the shampoo/reception person and Joey all hung around and chatted, and just pulled me into their conversation like I’d been there a hundred times. It was all very laid back and friendly, and I could totally see myself going in there often. Besides, Joey did an absolutely fantastic job. We talked for a few minutes before I even got my hair shampooed, and one of the things he asked me was how I normally styled my hair each day. I told him what I use and what I do, and when it came time for him to style my hair, he said he’d use the tools and kinds of products I already use, so I could come close to recreating it at home. That is awesome. And, guess what? He was right. My hair looks almost as good today as when he styled it on Friday.

Lots of people find something very comforting in being a regular at a place of business. I felt like a regular from my very first visit, and for me, that was totally worth the extra money I paid for the haircut. I feel good. I’ll get a picture up soon.

Oh, and also, the shampoo girl accidentally outed Jonathan to me while she was washing my hair. She tried to cover, and I let her, but oopsies!

Comments 11

  • You know what I like about your writing?

    If you had said to me, “hey Jim, my new hairdresser is fantastic,” I wouold have walked away going, “man, i wish i could afford a hairdresser,” or the slightly more self-deprecating, “i wish i was the kind of person with a hairdresser.” or maybe even the snide, “MUST BE NICE to be able to do that, Richie Von Moneystein!”

    INSTEAD.

    I get this post that really explains it all to me and makes me go, “Wow! Lorie has great hair that she will love, and I am REALLY HAPPY FOR HER.” And also, “perhaps regular ol’ folks can have hairdressers, too!” And a side order of, “i wonder what THAT would be like?”

    So, good post.

  • I’m glad you liked it!

    I could write an entire other post about why I have a regular hairdresser, and why I think it’s totally worth it. There are lots of reasons besides those noted or hinted at in this post. As a matter of fact, I’m getting a good idea for a follow-up entry, so thanks. I think I will make a post out of it.

  • Funny you should post this today, because just today I went to The Studio to make an appointment to get my hair done, only to find out that the fabulous Jessi up and moved to Charlottesville! I was pretty much devestated becaue I love how she does my hair. But alas… perhaps if I got my hair done more than twice a year I would have already known that.

  • How did the shampoo lady at the new place know Jonathan at the old place? Or were you referring to Jonathan’s shampoo lady?

  • We were talking about why my old salon went out of business, and I mentioned a rumor I’d heard about how the place had been sold right out from under them. The shampoo girl at the new place said yes, she had heard that too, because a gay male friend of hers was dating a guy who worked there. Then she said she didn’t want to say who the friend’s boyfriend was because she didn’t think he was officially out.

    There has only been one male employee in all the time I’ve been going there. DING!

  • That’s awesome. The whole thing, right down to outing Jonathan. Didn’t you totally know already, though?

  • I know what I like about your writing: that you do it naked. I just comes through in the writing and I appreciate that…

    PS: I go to Rudy’s for my haircuts (when I cut it) and stupidly bought some B&b product that is Great for short hair. See, thing is, the little non-english-speaking Japanese girl recommend I buy it when trimming my hair last time I was there. She understood that I was growing my hair out again but encouraged me to buy the product that would work for the cut she just gave me. …so, I’ve used this stuff perhaps 5 times and, of course, would never use it again ’cause it’s too stiff; I need curl-encouragement, not control.
    Worse than anything is that I can’t bring myself to buy another product that I might actually use because, in my cheap mind, I’ve already spent that money on the first product.

    Anyway, I went back again after allowing my gf to make a bit of a mess out of my hair twice and I could tell I’d made the right decision when, getting my haircut by somebody else, I thought my hair looked ridiculous. It’s the fact that it looked so bad when I walked away (but she’d already said all the right things to me that assured me that she knew that I was going for…) that I knew it’d look good the next day.
    And it has.

    so f(@#Uking busy here at work; totally spent too much time here. Shorter post next, please. :)

  • Awesome post.

    I still think you ought to adapt some of your blog writing to creative nonfiction submissions for lit mags and contests….There are a few mid-December deadlines, you know.

    As for Cosmo replaying their articles, I knew it! I always suspected as much, but like any sensible person with way too many ideas, I don’t check them out. I just have them.
    -cK

  • You people are insane! Wear a turban and forget hair.

  • I’ve used the same stylist for years now, and I adore her. My mom and sister adore her, too, and I’ve had friends go, and some love her, some don’t, some do for awhile, but it’s definitely an important relationship in my life. I would say, “that sounds so cheesy,” but you get it.
    Unrelated side note: I’m supposedly on Weffriddles Batch 2, but can’t figure out what the hell I’m supposed to do. I’m on temporary hiatus until my brain starts to work.

  • 50 ways to leave your stylist

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