Monthly archives: June, 2006

Gentle Glide, Indeed

And now for something completely different. I went to Target last night to buy such exciting things as deodorant, razor blades, toilet cleaner, bikini line Nair, a light bulb, and tampons. When I’d gotten everything I needed, I headed toward the shortest line and began loading my stuff onto the conveyor belt while the person …

Randy

In September 2000, Northwestern football was playing at Wisconsin. I don’t remember why now, but for some reason, we weren’t watching the game. Instead we were buying hair dye at Osco Drug. We were walking out of Osco when we heard the car horns, and someone passed us running down the street yelling that we’d …

And Now For Some Fruit

Watermelons! Refresh if you can’t see them. In other news, every single time I threaten to chop off all my hair, it looks awesome the very next day. I suspect malfeasance for malfeasance’s sake.

No Fun In The Summertime

There are some months when I spend the entire month wishing for the next month to arrive. Usually it’s because I’m low on funds for one reason or another, and by the time the end of the first week in the month arrives, I’m ready for the end of the month so I can get …

Homewrecker

I am thinking about cheating on Jonathan the next time I get a haircut (which will be soon). I don’t really have a very good reason for my potential betrayal, but I have lots of bad reasons. For one thing, my salon is no more. Seriously. The word around the sandbox is that the owner …