It Ran Away

When I turned around to drive back to my family’s house after the deer hit me, I expected to have to navigate around its hulking carcass in the middle of the road before I could get going. But no. That stupid deer didn’t have the common courtesy to fall down and die after hitting me; instead, I assume it went running off into the woods, thinking, “what the FUCK JUST HAPPENED?”

My dad got some of the dents out of my car doors with a toilet plunger. Ghetto? Yes. Effective? Yes. And we managed to prop the side-view mirror back on its mount so that it wouldn’t dangle down and smack against the side of the car while I was driving. I found out yesterday that my door lock doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to now that it’s been hit. I can’t figure out if it was actually damaged on impact, or if some part of the dented door is interfering with the lock mechanism, but sometimes it locks and sometimes it doesn’t, and sometimes it unlocks and sometimes it doesn’t, and if after seventeen tries or so it won’t unlock with the key or the automatic button thingie, I have to climb in the passenger side of the car instead. SO. GHETTO.

I have to find out if either Allstate or my AAA membership covers rental reimbursement, because if not, I’m going to have nothing to drive while the zoomy blue car’s being fixed, which means I’ll put off fixing it for a really long time, and I don’t want to do that.

My head hurts. It’s really humid outside. I need to go get my pool key and think about going swimming. I don’t know what to eat for dinner tonight, but I should probably stop eating egg salad sandwiches every single day because that can’t be good for me. At least I’m eating them on honey 7-grain bread, AKA “seed bread” if you’re my sisters. If you don’t mind the seeds, it’s actually very good bread.

I need to clean off my desk at least a little bit now.

Comments 6

  • I got a real nice way of cleaning off desks.

    …reeeealll niiiice.

  • too bad y’all sold the red van.

    Cobblestone Mill Nutty Oat Bread is delicious.

  • damn that deer…..

    hey, link me biotch

    much love

  • The egg salad is a good choice. 7 Grain bread is nice too, except when they add honey and sugar. That will interfere with (perhaps obviate) intended weight loss objectives. Always look to see the label where the percentage of carbohydrates is shown, and then focus in on the sugar grams. They try to hook you with a sweet taste everytime.

  • I’m very glad the deer got away. He may have little deer children to take care of. And a little deer wife who was all “Why are you late again? I’m only going to buy that hit by a car story so many times, ya know!”

  • Thing one… the van is still up for grabs if someone wants it.

    and Thing two… it’s good you live alone with all that egg salad you’ve been eating… We’ll just call the town home casa de farts.

    In other news, I put down a deposit on my own apartment yesterday.

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