First off, I still need a little help getting my free iPod, so please consider clicking that link and signing up for something.
I had physical therapy for my shoulders again today, and when I got to the rehab center there were about nine people waiting in the very small waiting room. People were tripping over each other and stuff – not a great idea at REHAB where everyone’s all injured and crippled and crap.
An aide came out eventually and called a name, and this very, very old lady struggled to her feet and started moving very slowly toward the door.
Right as she got to the door, she let out the biggest, crunchiest, most wall-shaking scorcher of a fart I’ve ever heard in my entire life.
And then she just kept on walking very, very slowly through the door, without a word, a glance, or even an errant motion to indicate any awareness that she’d just ambushed us with a fart she’s probably been saving up since she was born ninety-nine years ago.
I did shoulder exercises and got pumped up with electricity today, and some of it was a little difficult and uncomfortable, but you know what was more difficult and uncomfortable?
Trying to laugh hysterically without making any noise while eight other people were trying to do the same thing. Oh man, that was hard. We didn’t want to embarrass her, but my GOD, I didn’t think an old crippled woman could fart that hard without dislocating a hip or something. My goodness.
Thank the sweet baby Jesus that at least it didn’t smell.