Don’t Miss This Television Event

Short gals like me have capri issues, which is a shame since they’re so damn popular these days. It’s an inseam issue, really.

Capris tend to come in three lengths. Old Navy calls them “full,” “mid,” and “knee.”

Knee-length capris (18″ inseam) are out, because they are terribly unflattering. You need a long slender leg to do the knee-length capri, and I have a short muscular leg, so no.

Full-length capris (26″ inseam) are completely and totally out, because the problem they cause is even worse. Full-length capris hit me in the weirdest possible place on my leg, sort of in the ankle region but not really. So they aren’t long enough to pass as pants, but they aren’t short enough to pass as capris. Really, on me they just look like they shrunk in the wash and are pants that are too short. Looking like a dumbass – not good.

Mid-length is where it’s at, and while I’m at it I’ll guess that mid-length is probably the most flattering on most figures.

I just thought I’d share since I was browsing the Old Navy sale pages a few minutes ago.

Also, I really should have shaved my legs this morning. Luckily, I’m one of those people blessed with very fine, light leg hair, so you can’t tell unless you get up close.

So you know how TV advertisements are really fond of calling things “television events,” like you’re going to order a cheese tray from Kroger and invite a bunch of friends over for viewing parties? Generally, this annoys me, because seriously, who’s going to call a bunch of friends all “Hey, I’m having a bunch of people over to watch The 4400 and I got a cheese tray, so wanna come?”

Incidentally, I did enjoy The 4400, but it still wasn’t a television event.

You know what IS a Television Event?

I LOVE THE (frickin’) 90s.

My sisters and I have held an ILT90s countdown since the day we saw the very first ad for it. We’ve speculated about what might be covered. We’ve read about commentators on the internet. We’ve sneaked ahead on TiVo to get the episode descriptions. In short, we planned our lives around 9:00 p.m. on Monday, July 12th.

At 9:00 p.m. on Monday, July 12th, as we gathered around the television with gleeful anticipation, our DirecTV informed us that it was “searching for a signal.”

Severe thunderstorms throughout the afternoon and evening had knocked out our fucking satellite feed. At 9pm. On Monday, July 12th. Right when the Television Event known as I Love The 90s was starting.

I think people down the street heard us screaming.

Luckily, it was up and running only a few minutes later, during the Pretty Woman segment. But we missed the “Freedom ’90” segment and Sammi and I are STILL pissed about it.

The rest of it was awesome, though. Truly a Television Event.

Comments 3

  • I missed it! How horrifying!

  • i got burned out on “I Love the (Decade)” after about 20 minutes. The experts (almost all struggling comedians) are clearly fed the subjects before taping. And the editing alone is enough to make me make vomit.

  • There was no Freedom '90 segment. I watched it from beginning to end, and a lot of things that were mentioned on vh1.com in the episode descriptions weren't actually talked about in the episode (i.e., Home Alone, and then Marky Mark for 1991). I hate it when they do that.

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