Hey, I don’t know if I have kept you informed on the latest Pudding Pop issue. A day or so after I posted the news that they were returning, I found them at a local Food Lion and bought a box. A few days later, we went back to get more, and not only were they not in stock, but it was as if they’d never existed. Their place in the freezer section had been taken by some other kind of popsicle.
So family members have been searching at every grocery store for them, with no luck whatsoever. Finally over the weekend I decided to suck it up and go to Winn-Dixie (motto: “Winn-Dixie is the place.” The place for what, I say?).
Our local Winn-Dixie is a piece of shit – really the low-class grocery store in the area. It’s known for dim lighting, weird smells, weirder clientele, and occasional unidentified wet spots on the floors. I loathe going there, as I am a total grocery store snob. But I was willing to brave it for the Pudding Pops.
Sure enough, there they were in the freezer case! I grabbed two boxes and headed for the register.
“Do you have your Winn-Dixie SuperUltraAwesome Savings Card today?” the cashier asked. I replied that I did not. She paused.
“Well, did you just forget it?” she finally asked, implying that she’d be willing to bend the rules for me if I had left my card at home that day. *Note: the Pudding Pops were the only items I had to purchase, and were not on Savings Card sale, so whether or not I had one made no difference whatsoever.
“Nope,” I answered. “I don’t own one.”
Immediately she tried her best to get me to sign up for one. “It’s easy, and it only takes a few minutes, and it’s free, and blahblahblahBLAH!” she insisted, looking progressively more nervous. Finally, I gave up. No, not the way you think.
“Honestly, I only came here for the Pudding Pops, and there’s no way I’ll be shopping here often enough to make the Savings Card worth those few minutes of my time,” I confessed, as nicely as possible.
She was horrified! Appalled! How could anyone possibly turn down an opportunity to attach the Winn-Dixie SuperUltraAwesome Savings Card to her keyring, to rattle with all the other preferred shopper cards? This is ludicrious! Blasphemy!
She was clearly totally wounded and resentful. She took my six dollars with barely another word, tossed the change into my hand, and nudged the bag in my direction before moving right along to the next people in line.
“Hi! Do you have your Winn-Dixie SuperUltraAwesome Savings Card today?”
And I drove home and ate a Pudding Pop.