Warning: this entry is chiefly concerned with issues relating to my annual exam this afternoon. If you’re bugged by gyno talk (which will not be too graphic, I swear!) you may want to skip today.
So yeah, I’m going to have my annual exam done this afternoon. Actually I procrastinated on having last year’s annual exam so many times that I rolled over into a new year, so I haven’t had one since March of 2002. Normally I’m really responsible about my reproductive health, so that’s no good. But my recent bout with cramps has finally prompted me to just make the appointment already. I need to see if there’s anything wrong with my stuff.
And here’s the dumb thing: although I’m nervous as usual about the exam – the discomfort, the cramping, all that stuff – there’s something else that’s bugging me more.
See, the shoes I’m wearing today (see yesterday’s entry) look great, but they’ve rubbed the nail polish off of my big toes. And I’m embarrassed to put my bare feet in stirrups with tacky, chippy pink nail polish on the big toes. Oh, and also, I forgot to shave my legs this morning, so there’s that too. I did the squeaky clean thing, and even brought little wipes to freshen up with beforehand, but I have stubbly legs and chippy nail polish.
And I just know that they’re going to notice and be all, “Ew, look at her stubbly legs and chippy nail polish – that is SO TACKY.” And I’ll know what they’re thinking, and I’ll see them stealing glances down at my nasty chippy toe polish, and then I’ll be absolutely mortified and I’ll write in to Say Anything in YM and I’ll only get one star, the one that says, “Glad it didn’t happen to me” and I’ll be even more embarrassed that my Most Embarrassing Moment wasn’t even embarrassing enough to rate TWO stars (key: “Friends must still be talking about it”) from those bitches at YM, and anyway, that stupid blurb about flashing a tampon string at the pool was SO not a four-star (“Better switch school districts!”) Say Anything and those girls are probably all blonde and go to private school anyway.
Or maybe they won’t even notice at all.