Exactly the Same

I am definitely a product whore, as has been mentioned in this very space on countless occasions. But although I’m prone to buying every freakin’ hair/makeup/personal grooming product in sight, I actually use very few products on my head/face when getting ready for work in the morning.

But I found out two days ago that I need to have a head shot done today for press releases and it will be posted in perpetuity on the college web site. So I freaked out, called Closeted Jonathan, begged him to fit me in this morning, and began stressing about what I should wear.

I finally decided on a suit and went with the quirky beaded jewelry over the 40-something-esque neck scarf. Then this morning I scraped my nasty, funky, dirty, growing-out hair into a freakish little ponytail and went about the makeup. I spent seriously freakin’ forever on the makeup, people.

Most days I slap on some powder stuff for skin tone, the everpresent Sonia Kashuk smudge stick in “blackest,” a little bit of eyeshadow, mascara, and lip balm and tear out the door.

Today I did the whole regimen suggested to me by the kind people at Lancome. That cream/powder foundation-y stuff that you put on with a sponge. Eyeshadow base. Two eyeshadows – highlight and crease. The smudge stick. Two coats of mascara. The blush I paid like $30 for. Lip liner. Lip gloss. Blot. Toss hair. Run out the door.

And you know what? I look exactly the same as I always do. EXACTLY THE SAME.

Then I went to see Jonathan and told him I needed to be photo-ready. He trimmed me up and told me he was going to use the MEGAHOLD hair spray on me today so his style would last till my photo shoot.

Now I have some seriously non-moving corporate hair. It will look very cool when it’s styled in a way that actually moves when I turn my head, and it’ll be good for the photo. The MEGAHOLD hair spray is seriously weirding me out, though. I move my head and my entire hair style moves as a unit with it. The wind blows, lifting a large chunk of my hair off my head and slamming it back down with a resounding “clunk.”

Overall, it looks cool, though, and hair spray washes out. Oh, and if we need further evidence that Closeted Jonathan is, in fact, closeted – as I left he told me I looked fabulous and to “be sure to wear lipstick for the picture.” Duly noted, CJ.

But then I came back into the office and my assistant said I looked “exactly the same, but fluffy.”

Dude. I turned my normal 30-minute routine into a 30 minutes for professionally-styled hair, 30 minutes for heavily applied makeup so that I would look really good for my picture, and I look EXACTLY THE SAME as I do on days when I throw on wrinkled pants, run a brush through my hair, slap on a tiny amount of makeup and head for the door?

That sucks a little bit.

I need to go put on lipstick now so that I can look exactly the same for my photo this afternoon.

Comments 8

  • I'm sorry you look exactly the same. This, coming from the chick who buys ever bit of makeup known to mankind, then when I dare wear some of it, I look like a grotesque clown. And that's a direct quote.

  • Relax, you look mahvelous. Don't sweat the small stuff. While you've heard this before, it is no less true; it's what's inside that is most important. Take deep breaths, close your eyes, and think about what its going to be like bouncing your grandchildren on your knee one day. That should put things into perspective…

  • …which is why I never waste money on makeup. You may look different, yes, but odds are, nobody is paying enough attention on a regular basis.

  • This is a good thing… It means that everyday you look like you're ready for a photo shoot. It means that people don't notice the wrinkled pants because you look so good anyway.
    At least, thats what I think ;)

  • I agree with Dee's perspective.

  • Let me jump on the Dee and jen bandwagon; once one has summitted Everest, there are no higher mountains to climb.

  • i am eagerly anticipating the link to said press release, which i trust will be forthcoming.

  • Mike be da press, you know? ;)

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