I Hate Everyone.

Well, this totally sucks.

Good thing about working in education: snow days. When the school is closed, you basically get a free vacation day.

Relatively bad thing about working in higher education as opposed to the primary/secondary school level: higher education is more concerned with actually holding classes, and so colleges close much less often than public elementary and high schools.

So. We were closed on Monday, and when I looked outside and saw how bad it was I prayed we’d be closed on Tuesday too, and though they didn’t make the decision until yesterday morning, they did finally close.

Today we’re opening at 10:30. It’s 10:10 and I’m sitting at home because I can’t get out of my neighborhood.

I live on a road very similar to Cookie’s, except that ours is not state-maintained and therefore never gets plowed. Seriously, never.

Ginny left about fifteen minutes before I did. She has the assy Ford Ranger with rear-wheel drive, that gets stuck in a dusting of snow, and after a few tries she made it down our driveway (also very long and downhill) so I figured I’d be okay.

So I cranked up the heat and proceeded to remove the snow. Snow covered in ice sucks my ass, because you have to break the ice before you can get the snow off the car. I sort of kind of ruined my parents’ kitchen broom in the process – sorry about that! Oh, also, did I mention the high wind advisory? Which means that it’s fuckin’ horrifyingly cold and, also, that every chunk of snow I loosened from the car proceeded to fly straight back and hit me in the face? And did I also mention that my cute Mudd loafers were full of snow, as were the cuffs in my work pants, and I’m not even that dressed up today? (See: red Gap fleece pullover and black pants)

Once the snow was gone I made it out of the driveway in a couple of tries, and drove slowly and carefully through my neighborhood. When I got to the corner before the last uphill part, there sat my sister, stuck in the truck. Ahead of her, half in the ditch, was a Blazer. I stopped and asked her what happened, and told her that if I could make it up in my car I’d take her to work. Off I went, only to make it about thirty feet before my tires spun uselessly against the packed snow and ice.

Ginny left the truck there. I turned around and brought her back to the house. And I just called work and am not going in today and am freaking out about it.

My coworkers are like “don’t worry about it; just stay home and try again tomorrow” and I’m all you don’t understand! I NEED to go to work today! I have been in my house for four days and we have no food and I’m going completely stir-crazy and I NEED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE TODAY DAMMIT!

Also- this is the part where lots of people like to say things like “Didn’t you used to live in Chicago?” to which I will, if not in a business setting, respond along the lines of “Fuck straight off.” Because for one thing, it’s all relative. It’s all in what you get used to. But also? Snow in Chicago is not such a big deal because people don’t act like insaniacs when it snows. Many Chicagoans know how to drive safely in snow. The city budgets for snow removal and gets right on plowing and salting, sometimes before the snow even starts. Around here, there’s never enough money for adequate snow removal. People either continue to drive 80 miles an hour or slow to a 5 mph creep. They also go to the store and have bitchy arguments over the last loaf of bread, the last gallon of milk. In a word, they go nuts.

And now I’m grouchy AND hungry. Time to make another attempt.

Comments 8

  • go to Mike's comments and click #16.

    Then, talk to Ophelia – by now you both should be getting along just fine.

    ;-)

  • i am right there with you on the job thing. i'm taking the next few days off because ben's coming into town, but i have the sneaking suspicion i'm going to be called in because – like you – i'm the only one in my office who knows what the hell is going on.

    mmm, chicago. IDOT cleans streets like a fucking monster plow. god bless those crazy bastards.

  • You're right about Chicago — they clear that shit out so fast you really don't even get a chance to appreciate its “freshness.” Anyways, good luck! Hope everything gets better as the day progresses… :)

  • Definately can appreciate your struggles with the snow. Last night it was -33 but felt like -48. Then of course it won't stop snowing…did I mention I hate snow as much as you do?

    Good luck with the snow..your going to need it.

  • “every chunk of snow I loosened from the car proceeded to fly straight back and hit me in the face”

    If you were a guy, you would have avoided that, cause we learn that trick once, by pissing in the wind.

  • “every chunk of snow I loosened from the car proceeded to fly straight back and hit me in the face”

    If you were a guy, you would have avoided that, cause we learn that trick once, by pissing in the wind.

    And yes, I stranded my car too. Our driveway silts up quickly with fast winds and drifting snow, so that it fills up to the level of the plowed snow, making the snow deeper in the driveway than next to it. So I cut through my neighbors hayfield, but didn't quite make it this time. Pulled out the car with the 4×4 farm truck and the wife.

  • hahaha, i didn't think about that, will. clearly i'm behind the curve on this one. :)

  • it is 60 degrees in dallas, just FYI. did you ever make it out?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.