Nauseating

So I had this whole entry almost written and then I got crazy hyper fingers and accidentally clicked the little house instead of opening a new window and poof, there it went.

It sucked anyway.

So I know the secret of One-A-Day WeightSmart vitamins.

They make you hurl, see.

I guess One-A-Day BulimiaSmart didn’t have quite the ring to it.

I guess they might make you lose weight because you throw up all day when you take one.

I bought them several months ago and couldn’t figure it out for the longest time. I was barfing all the time there and I was like “what’s up, I never throw up!” and then finally I realized it was the vitamins. They’re tummy bombs or something. So I stopped taking them.

Oh, argh, I just remembered that I need to rant about something. I’ll try to keep it brief.

If you have children, don’t waste your holier-than-thou breath saying things like the following to me:

  • “You’ll understand when you have kids.”
  • “You don’t understand, because you don’t have children.”
  • “You’ll know what I mean when you have a family of your own.”

This is particularly obnoxious and nauseating when I haven’t even made any comments that might lead you to believe that I think I know what it’s like to have children.

Oh, and by the way, I do have a family. And it’s bigger than yours. And I live with my family, and I drive my sisters around, and I go to their volleyball games and their basketball games and their softball games and their band concerts and so on and on and on.

I would never dream of saying “You’re old, so you don’t understand,” or “You’re rich, so you don’t really know where I’m coming from,” or anything along those lines. Why? Because it’s inappropriate, impolite, and quite often completely irrelevant.

Have kids. Love your kids. Go to their choir concerts and their violin lessons and their tennis lessons and their school conferences. Tuck them in at night. Wake them up with kisses in the morning. Frame their drawings and put them on your office walls.

Brag about them all you want to. Show me pictures and I promise I’ll say nice things about them, even if they’re ugly little rat bastards. Tell me of their accomplishments and why they are so special to you.

But keep your fucking presumptuous comments to yourself.

Comments 10

  • One-A-Day Men's make me very sick too. Seems like a bad idea for a company to choose that as a way to unify their diverse product line.

  • Yeah. Word to the Children thing. WORD. I totally agree. And also… the Metabolife (lite) whatever the hell they are. I think they would make you throw up too. I bought them, but could never make myself take them because they're like brown and smell like ass and are the size of buicks. Grody.

  • Dude, my kids so much better than you. He like…flys jets while making physics up in the cockpit. This whole note was just an excuse to say “cockpit”

  • I read tb's comment as One-A-Day MEN and thought that too could make one ill. heh. Then again, Lorie, you might try that, though it's 50/50 likely to have the same effects as the vitatmin.

    You said you wrote a page about me in your diary.

  • “Ugly little rat bastards.” I like it.

  • lorie,
    you'll understand when your presumptous too one day. haha, just teasing I couldn't resist.

  • missie, you goofnoodle. :)

  • Eh, when people say things like that to me I tell them things like “kids of my own? Why would I want to ruin my life like that?” or “If I could blow my ovaries apart by taking all my birthcontrol pills at once I'd do it!” That shuts them up a bit. Then again, some of them say “just you wait…”

  • Yeah. Know the feeling. But I get to say, “Well, I was a nanny for five years. I think I do know a LITTLE bit about what it's like!!!” That shuts them up real good…

  • I agree, One a Day Weight smart made me want to throw up everytime I took it. Yeah I guess it makes sense, weight smart = bulimia, basically if you throw up your food you wont gain the wight.

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