Armpits. Chock Full of Links!

This has all been a clever marketing ploy.

See, we all got together and decided that y’all were taking us for granted. Getting to read each of us every single day, sometimes more than once, might be great, but eventually you’d all get used to it and you wouldn’t be wowed by our wit and candor and sparkle (such as they are) anymore. Besides, we wanted to force your attention toward others in the blogosphere, such as it is, who write regularly and deserve your attention.

So.

Kruxy went on “hiatus.” Jen went to “Ohio.” Calluna “disappeared.” And Mike and ABV and I got “busy,” although not with each other, as far as I know.

Or maybe I just made all of that up and the stuff in quotation marks is actually “true.”

Those bloggers who didn’t take the time off from writing do deserve your attention, though.

Stuff:

  • I took Monday and Tuesday off from work to catch up on some much-needed sleep and could use about 3 more days of it;

  • We got TiVo yesterday, rock on;

  • After my dad and I took apart my TV, found nothing wrong, and put it back together, it miraculously began working again;

  • But then the lightbulb in my room blew out and I still haven’t fixed it;

  • I got a flu shot today for the first time and am afraid I might die.

Also, I’m wondering about aerosol spray deodorant/antiperspirant. Is it dorky? I wonder this because, when applying Degree to my pristine underarm region the other day, the entire chunk of solid DO somehow flew out of the plastic case and across the room, bouncing off a shoe and two CDs in the process. I guess I’m really diligent about wetness and odor protection.

So I had to borrow my sister’s spray-on Dove deodorant, and the lovely powder-ish scent stayed with me all day, so I’m thinking about switching to the aerosol stuff, but seriously, is there something tacky and/or unsexy about it? Because if there is, I’d rather stick with the solid I’ve been using for years. I have enough trouble getting dates as it is – I’d hate to scare someone away with a spray can of Secret.

Although maybe there’s something tacky and/or unsexy about writing an entry half-devoted to deodorant. And perhaps I’m scaring people away that way.

No. Wait. Come back.

fuck.

Comments 15

  • You have inspired me to tell an embarrassing story. When I was going through puberty (namely, ages 11-21), my right armpit never stopped sweating. I could put on the mothafucka of all deodorants, but it just didn't matter. My left pit was cool, but the right one was OUT OF CONTROL. Finally, at age 18, I discovered Degree Shower Fresh. (Or Shower Something…) I was addicted to the scent, and spray deodorants dry faster and better than sticks (or, ick, roll-ons), so it gave me an opportunity during my morning routine to reapply. At any rate, the moral of the story is, “Any deodorant is better than a wet right pit.” And no, spray deo is not uncool.

  • for some reason, there is something tacky and unsexy about spray-on deodorant for women because, unlike the accurate application of a stick or roll-on, the spray (in my mind's eye) is meant for vast odor-emitting surfaces. so when a guy knows you use a spray he thinks (on some level) that you have more than the average number of stink-producing pores. that you require an overly comprehensive degree of protection from your own funk. and that's never a good thing.

  • mike – duly noted. Roll-on, though, is DEFINITELY tacky and unsexy. definitely.

  • yeah, so steer clear of the spray unless your are deodorizing an overacting right pit or, say, a compost pile.

  • I'm with the mikester on this one. Spray on deodorant is not cool. Degree is by far the best choice in my humble opinion. There is something remakably odd about a woman who uses spray, it would be the same type of woman who would use Rave or something of that nature to make her hair behave, it's just not right, even though it may work just fine.

  • you are awesome! thanks!

    btw, i use the gel.

  • So… using my spray on deodorant and then allowing others to dis it… not cool. I think it's much better than stick because it doesn't leave huge gelatenous monster chuncks of old crusty stuff on you pits. And that's not even assuming that you don't wash it off everyday. That shit is just left behind at the end of the day. Also, I find that even if you don't need to cover a large amount of funk it leaves a nice powdery smell with you as a side effect, which I like. SO SCREW YOU stupid boys who think spray is uncool. That is all. Lorie is so gonna delete this.

  • Dude, for once in my life I wasn't making fun of you. I was just curious. Note that I said I liked the lingering smell in my entry.

  • Antiperspirant – I've never gotten over the idea of putting something on my skin, and so, into my blood that was made to stop something my body needs to do. I guess I've never had an excessive wetness problem but I find Tom's Natural Deoderant works great and people think I smell really good though not like anything they can identify – like, a spring breeze or anything.
    I don't think there's so much wrong with the idea of spray-on, but the idea of breathing that in every morning is also – unsettling. My dad used to use it and I can still remember how it rose about him and lingered through much of the rest of his morning routine.

    Also, do you ever get stains in the underarms of your shirts, blouses whatever? Aluminum in your protection (aluminum!)is rubbed with the rest of it onto the faric of your clothes and doesn't really wash off. Come dryer time that metal gets really hot and procedes to burn your clothes – voila, stain.

    Anyway, nice of you to mention all those you care about. And you're right, being busy but no getting busy for me.

  • I'm not sure how I feel about the spray-on deo. I've been using your basic Secret Solid for years.

    Glad to see your part of the ploy was to “sleep.” Beats being busy, though not getting busy.

  • i'm finding this quite amusing. lorie, who would have thought a simple question about deodorant would have touched such a nerve?

  • Secret Platinum protection is the BEST! Soft solid! The best of both worlds!

  • Thanks for the mention.

    Also, I haven't used spray on deodorant since about 8th grade. I'm not sure why exactly, but if I think about it, maybe it's too much of a statement “I stink and therefore I must blast this shit on my pits.” I prefer to sneakily apply a soft little solid or effortlessly glide on a gel, I guess.

    p.s. Totally jealous of your Tivo!!

  • Dear Secret,

    Every day I thank God for spending a little more time on you than aerosol.

    Love,
    Candace

    I think it's because I write love letters to everyone and everything that I get way fewer comments on that kind of armpit-talkish stuff than you do, dear.

    But thank you for sending them to me anyway! :)

  • Stinking like BO, now that's unsexy. Letting people know your pre-actively attacking that unknown force of stank, well, in my opinion that's just more information than most people bargain for, but hell, it's a blog I say scare the aersol Dove right into um. Take no prisoners. Ugh ok, so my computer, decided to flip out on me today and I lost the blog I was re-editing and the one I was touching up…blah blah…I feel I let ya down. You linked me and woosh my keeping up with the blogosphere was gone. Oh well, thanks,it made me blush and stink!!!

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