I’ve just realized that I’ve been in my new office for three weeks and it looks like I moved in yesterday. Boxes are stacked along the walls. Artwork on the walls is minimal, as is desk junk, since I keep forgetting to bring in my name plate and such. I took all of my personal stuff home when we moved so that the movers wouldn’t damage or fuck around with my stuff. Stacked on the edge of my computer cart are three framed photos of Chicago that Alex and I took in Grant Park and from the steps of Shedd Aquarium when we were there last summer. I was just looking at them and remembered the story of the Bishop’s Vagina.
The Bishop’s Vagina is better known to most of you as the Stone Container Building, or the Smurfit-Stone Building, which I believe is its official name. You may remember it from its prominent role in the box-office smash Adventures in Babysitting. Actually, it probably wasn’t a box-office smash, but it’s one of my favorite guilty pleasure movies.
A few years ago, my former best friend told me that the building looked the way it did because it was designed by a woman, who thought it was wrong that skyscrapers looked so phallic and decided to design the distinctive shape of this building to look like a vagina. I didn’t know whether it was true or not, but it made a good story, so when Alex and Craig and I were hanging out last summer, I told them.
Someone pointed out that it looked vicious. Alex called it the Vicious Vagina building. Craig misunderstood her and thought she’d said something about a bishop’s vagina, and The Bishop’s Vagina has been the Stone Container Building’s name to me ever since.
Incidentally, when I was doing research to write this entry, I learned from that skyscraper site that The Bishop’s Vagina was designed by one Sheldon Schlegman, so apparently the whole vagina thing was entirely made up after all.
Oh, and one more thing. I have a bizarre crush on Richard Dawson. Turns out I’m not the only one. Woo!