My Mom Drops Acid

July 15, 2003

So last night barybabe and I were alone at home with our mom, and we decided to ambush her into confessing to us which illegal drugs she’d used when she was younger – because we know she must have used something.

For the record, our money is on pot and acid.

So we start running down the list.

Us: Pot?
Mom: No.
Us: Liar.

Ginny: Heroin?
Me: La heroina? (I like to say drug names in Spanish whenever possible.)
Mom: No.

Me: How ’bout acid?
Mom: (starts to laugh)Ha, no, I never did acid.
Mom: Shut up, I never did any illegal drugs.
Ginny: You’re such a liar, pothead.

Ginny: Cocaine?
Me: Cocaina?
Mom: Nooo.

Mom: Which one’s the one you shoot up?

Me: That’s heroin, Mom. Hey, what about crack?

Mom: They didn’t have crack back then.

Me: MOM, are you retarded? They had crack in the 70s.

Mom: I thought it was one of the drugs they invented a few years ago, for you guys.

Ginny: You mean like ecstasy?

Me: Mom, they did not just invent crack. Hel-LO. That’s like saying they had coffee before they had coffee beans.

Mom: Oh, it’s not the same at all. Quit it.

And so on.

But actually I went to this helpful page today: where you can get information about all kinds of street drugs, as well as helpful stock photos of them to put on your own web site! Woo! You can choose up to ten photos to enhance your site! But I didnít, because you have to pay for them, and I donít want to do that.

Anyway. I found out at that web site that crack is made from cocaine, not vice versa as I thought last night when I made the ill-advised coffee bean metaphor.

So Iím an idiot. But my mom drops acid.

Filed under: old diaryland entries

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