Look! It’s Eagle Woman!

I am so the man.

I actually woke up ON TIME and worked out this morning – quite possibly the first time that’s happened in my entire life, ever. And then I left on time, too.

And out of the complete clear blue, when I was walking out the door I suddenly thought of the Eagle Insurance commercials. Anyone who’s spent any time in Chicago knows about the Eagle commercials. They are, quite possibly, the funniest television commercials in the history of television. Words cannot adequately express the comedy gold involved in watching a dude in a bad eagle costume materialize on top of a car, then proceed to LAY AN EGG containing low insurance rates. Eagle Woman was pretty funny too, and flew as if suspended from the ceiling with string, like a character in a third grade play. Mancow Muller, however, is an asshole and I hope he dies. That is all. I have no idea why that memory chose that moment to emerge from the depths of my convoluted brain, but it was damn funny.

Then I thought of the Empire Carpet commercials, with the super-catchy jingle. 588-2300 – EmPIIIIIIRE!

Hey, once in awhile I meet people who say they’re from the Chicago suburbs. And when I ask which suburb, they say “Joliet.”

Dude.

Joliet is not a motherfucking suburb of Chicago. It’s like 3 hours away!

I also had a completely bizarre dream last night that involved my ex-best friend/ex-roommate person, with whom I reconciled in the dream, and a little deer that showed up out of nowhere and proceeded to eat its own leg. But in the dream it was really cute and funny, like “oh look! The wittle deew is hungwy!”

That’s all for now.

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