Did anyone else in the ‘Noke catch the WSLS Channel 10 Totally Ghetto 11:00 News last night?
I guess they had an underground electrical fire in downtown Roanoke last night and AEP had to shut off the power over a multi-block area of the grid. This left many businesses without power at an extremely inopportune time of night – including the news station and the newspaper offices.
So 11:00 News Anchors John and Karen were standing outside the station doing the newscast live and broadcasting from a van with a generator. It was great. They kept messing up, and every time they’d go to a video feed the sound would be all out of whack or the wrong clip would come up, and you could hear engineers and cameraman chatting over the commercial breaks, and people kept driving by and honking and waving and stuff so they could be on TV, because they’re freaks. Oh, and you could totally tell that Karen’s jacket didn’t match her pants. John actually made a funny comment for once in his life, though, when he said “This segment has been brought to you by our friends at Harley-Davidson” right after some super-loud motorcycle went screaming by.
Then Local Meteorologist Jamey gave us the weather forecast. Karen held up a clipboard with a printed-out weather map on it, and Jamey’s big hand showed us the fronts and such, and then he had this little tool that told us the current temperature and humidity, and then came the best part – the forecast. Karen flipped to a second page on the clipboard. Written in blue Sharpie:
Tonight’s Low: 54
Tomorrow: Partly sunny, chance of rain
Later Sportscaster Justin did the sports report. Which means he read the scores off a clipboard of his own. And then John made him repeat the basketball scores, because it’s all about John, yanno.
The funniest part, maybe, is that even with all the engineering problems and the power outage and the standing-outside-with-a-clipboard newscasting, they were STILL more professional than WSET’s newscast is on a good night.
Two things to report on from the newscast this morning:
1. They are expecting 19,000 people for the Franklin Graham “Come to Jebus” Festival this weekend, at which Stinky is volunteering and the rest of my family is planning to attend. The population of Salem is only 28,000 anyway, and they’re expecting 19,000 more this weekend. Note to self: avoid Salem at all costs.
2. I heard on the radio that a certain Baptist youth group leader was convicted of having sex with a 13-year-old girl. He’ll have to spend time in jail and will have to register as a convicted sex offender. The part that makes this worthy of a mention here? That guy is someone I was friends with in high school, and I totally freaked out when I heard about the charges a few months ago. Ew. Ick. And, ew. Honestly, though, we never had any idea that he would turn out this way – he always seemed like such a nice, respectful, non-threatening guy. Looking back, though, he’s a big guy – over 6 feet and just BIG – and all the girlfriends he had were teeny-tiny skinny petite young-looking girls.
I repeat: Ew. Ick. And also, fucking EW.
BUT – to end on a good note – today is my last work day of the week! WHEE! I’m taking tomorrow and Friday off because I’ve been working 6 days a week for like a million months. Yay! It’s like Friday! Except not! AND I GOT PAID TODAY, FINALLY! (Getting paid once a month sucks, yo.)